


Sleeping Angels

by Lockea



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Zack Lives, Dehumanization, F/M, M/M, Platonic Relationship, Pre-Nibelheim, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-14
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-09 23:17:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lockea/pseuds/Lockea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SOLDIERs. Monsters in human skin. Not human at all, despite their appearances. They are ShinRa's most powerful weapons and their HANDLERS are an elite group of humans trained to control them. When SOLDIER HANDLER Zack Fair is given the impossible task of recovering and training Cloud, a young SOLDIER who has gone completely feral, he finds himself discovering a secret that changes everything he believed in about Shinra, the SOLDIERs, and the very nature of humanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> This is such an odd story... It was an odd idea that was born out of a rather weird conversation and even then it only made it to the light of day because of my friend, Namel, who was the second person to tell me that they liked the idea, after my sister Kattitina's indulgent "Sounds good, sis". So, really, I wrote this story for her. It's my first real fanfiction in probably 2 or 3 years now...

**To: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **From: Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
** **Subject: HANDLER Moritz**

Director,

It’s come to my attention that HANDLER Moritz is unsuitable for his role regarding SOLDIER 265, Cloud. As you know, I oversaw much of Cloud’s early training and continue to keep tabs on his progress. I’ve noticed a considerable backslide in discipline, as well as an increase in aggression since Moritz took over his training. At best, I am concerned about Moritz’s competence in training and discipline, and at worst I am concerned these aggressive episodes may have an unfortunate outcome for both HANDLER and SOLDIER.

 

 **To: Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
** **From: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **Subject: RE: HANDLER Moritz**  

Commander,

Thank you for your concern. I have looked into the matter further and discussed the details with the scientists who oversee 265’s mako therapy. We will monitor the situation between Moritz and his SOLDIER but currently have no plans to interfere with his training schedule.

 

 **To: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **From: Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
** **Subject: RE:RE: HANDLER Moritz**  

Lazard,

I am concerned that HANDLER Moritz is unsuitable for his position and that his relationship with Cloud is causing more harm than good. I submit now that if you do not take action, the consequences will be catastrophic.

 

**To: Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
** **From: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **Subject: RE:RE:RE: HANDLER Moritz**

Hewley, 

My hands are tied. I will monitor the situation but you would do well to remember that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

 

 **To: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **From: Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
** **Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE HANDLER Moritz**  

I am not interested in catching flies. I am interested in keeping people alive.

 

**SOLDIER-HANDLER INCIDENT REPORT SYSTEM**

_Date_ : April 15, 0001  
 _Name and Title of Person Making the Report_ : Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
 _Name and Identification of SOLDIERS involved_ : Cloud – 265, Sephiroth – 001,  
 _Name of HANDLERs involved_ : Lieutenant Mikael Moritz 

_Description of Events_

During the course of scheduled and routine training, HANDLER Moritz turned his back on his SOLDIER, Cloud, who proceeded to use the momentary lapse in concentration to tackle Moritz. The SOLDIER then proceeded to claw at Moritz’s face, specifically his eyes and mouth, before biting his throat and tearing it out with his teeth.

SOLDIER Sephiroth intervened, pulling Cloud off and restraining him long enough for me to sedate him. Moritz was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics.

_Actions Already Taken or Actions Recommended_

The SOLDIER has been reprimanded to the science department until further notice. However, it is my recommendation that judgment be suspended pending an investigation into HANDLER Moritz’s training techniques.

 

 

_Excerpt from an Interview with SOLDIER HANDLER Angeal Hewley, regarding the Moritz incident. Senior Turk Tseng, Interviewing._

 

 **Interviewer** : Records show that you reported Moritz’s behavior to the Director of SOLDIER months in advance of the incident in the training rooms. Did you know this was going to happen? 

 **Hewley** : Of course not. However, having worked with Cloud in the past, I could tell he was growing more and more anxious just from observing him in the training room. I’ve been a HANDLER long enough to know that an anxious SOLDIER is a dangerous one.

 **Interviewer** : I see. Would you please state for the record what your previous involvement with SOLDIER 265 was?

 **Hewley** : I trained him from age eight to age thirteen, before he was turned over to Moritz for dependency and field training.

 **Interviewer** : What reason did the most experienced and highly respected HANDLER in ShinRa have to work with a juvenile SOLDIER?

 **Hewley** : Cloud’s mako adaptability is the third highest of all the SOLDIERs. Given what happened to the first SOLDIER with those levels, it was decided that Cloud would benefit from early instruction and from bonding with Sephiroth, who would be his contemporary. It is also not uncommon for experienced HANDLERs to work with juvenile SOLDIERs on occasion before they are assigned more permanent HANDLERs. The socialization has helped reduce incidents of aggression and feral behavior.

 **Interviewer** : Prior to his assignment to Moritz, how would you have described 265’s behavior and personality?

 **Hewley** : Calm, perceptive, and submissive. Cloud is a very obedient SOLDIER. He rarely fought against me and was always very quick to pick up new skills. He can read social cues much better than most SOLDIERs – certainly much better than Sephiroth can – and react accordingly. He was never aggressive as a child. Passive, I guess, would be the best word to describe him. Passive and relaxed.

 **Interviewer** : Would you say that 265’s attack on Moritz was indicative of an adolescent shift in behavior?

 **Hewley** : No. I’d say it’s indicative of a perfectly normal – perfectly human – reaction to stressful circumstances, taken to the extreme by the violence of a SOLDIER’s upbringing. Cloud’s personality has not changed.

 **Interviewer** : Strike Hewley’s last statement from the record please. Note that he does not believe 265’s effectiveness as a SOLDIER has been compromised.

 **Hewley** : Tseng—

 **Interviewer** : Thank you, Commander. We will let you know if we have any further questions.

 

 

 **DEPARTMENT OF THE MILITARY – SOLDIER DIVISION: INTERNAL MEMO  
** **TO** : All HANDLERs First and Second Class  
 **FROM** : Lazard Deusericus, Director of SOLDIER  
 **SUBJECT** : New Training Protocols for SOLDIERS First and Second Class

 

All, 

The Turks have concluded their investigation into the incident on April 15th, 0001, regarding HANDLER First Class Moritz and SOLDIER 265. It is the decision of the SOLDIER program to reassign 265 to a new HANDLER pending new safety protocols. The new HANDLER will be selected from the incoming pool of candidates. However, we are currently accepting nominations as to who the new HANDLER will be.

Following this investigation, we will also begin implementing new HANDLER protocols for HANDLERs of First and Second Class SOLDIERs – Third Class SOLDIER HANDLERs will not be affected. From now on, the juvenile and adolescent SOLDIERs of these rankings will require an extra HANDLER supervising their training both in the training rooms and on the field. The second supervising HANDLER must be currently unassigned a SOLDIER or be assigned a fully grown, fully trained SOLDIER.

We respect and understand that these restrictions will affect current training regimes. To accommodate these changes, SOLDIER intends to double the number of HANDLERs accepted into its next Candidate Class as well as change the procedure for acquiring a SOLDIER to train. In the meantime, the Turks and the Infantry have graciously offered volunteers to serve as temporary supervising HANDLERs.

Lastly, the SOLDIER program has always stood behind methods of positive reinforcement in training. We would like to remind our HANDLERs – without whom this program would not exist – of the importance of effective training tactics. With this in mind, SOLDIER will begin offering non-mandatory HANDLER Training Refresher classes once a week beginning in June. Please check your bulletins and emails for information regarding class locations and topics.

The SOLDIER program is the pride of ShinRa Electric Company. Let us all work hard and do our parts for our future and the benefit of mankind.

 

 

**To: Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
** **From: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **Subject: Zack Fair**

 

Commander, 

Thank you for your input in choosing a new HANDLER for SOLDIER 265. We decided to take your recommendation and will be assigning HANDLER Candidate Zack Fair to him once he has completed his training. I’d like to ask you to keep an eye on HANDLER Fair and SOLDIER 265. The lab has reported that the SOLDIER has not calmed any in the six months since the Moritz incident. They are concerned that he will continue to pose a threat to other HANDLERs and to himself, however they are willing to give reassignment a try.

HANDLER Fair is at the top of his class – he is bright, intuitive, and a natural with SOLDIERs – so it would be a shame for the HANDLER program to lose both him and 265. Given your extensive experience as a HANDLER as well as your previous experience working with 265, you are the best choice as a mentor.

 

**To: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **From: Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
** **Subject: RE: Zack Fair**

 

Director, 

It should go without saying. I will be keeping an eye out for both Cloud and his new HANDLER. _[REDACTED]_ and I both have a vested interest in seeing HANDLER Fair succeed.

Angeal

 

**To: Commander Angeal Hewley, HANDLER First Class  
** **From: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **Subject: RE:RE: Zack Fair**

 

Old Friend, 

Please be more careful with your communications. You are well known for having unpopular opinions in ShinRa. This is dangerous territory you tread and you’d do well to keep in mind that not everyone is as tolerant as your views as I am. Please, if not for my sake, then for your SOLDIER’s sake – enough with these radical opinions.

Lazard

 

 

**To: Lieutenant Zack Fair, HANDLER First Class  
** **From: Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus  
** **Subject: SOLDIER Assignment**

HANDLER Fair, 

Congratulations on successfully passing the prerequisites of the SOLDIER program at ShinRa Electric Company. Your exemplary performance has qualified you to receive a SOLDIER First Class. As you know from your training, only about one in ten SOLDIERs qualifies as First Class. You join an elite group of HANDLERs that includes the Hero of the Wutai War, Commander Angeal Hewley, and the HANDLER known as the Fire of Junon, Garis Brenth. Your position as a HANDLER First Class is accompanied by a two rank promotion to Lieutenant as a sign of the great expectations ShinRa has of you.

Please find enclosed your new SOLDIER’s dossier as well as your requisition and orientation itinerary.

Welcome to SOLDIER,

Lazard Deusericus, Director of SOLDIER


	2. The SOLDIER

“I’m sure you remember from your studies that mako is nothing more than energy drawn from the core of the planet. The same energy that powers the lights in the tower has the ability to corrupt, to diffuse, and to reconstruct the very core of a person’s body and psyche, making monsters where once there were men.”

The oily haired scientist was speaking, rambling more like it, as SOLDIER HANDLER Zack Fair followed quietly behind him, his boots ringing out against the metal grating on the floor. Zack was only half interested in the scientist’s words as he explained what Zack had already heard hundreds of times over in training. The SOLDIERs were not human. mako turned ordinary beasts into extraordinary and ruthless monsters. Humans were nothing more than intelligent beasts, so it stood to reason that a human exposed to mako would become a monster, and a powerful one at that. Yet SOLDIERs lacked the control and rationale of humans, such was their power as weapons, and so SOLDIER HANDLERs like Zack were needed to train and control them.

They were in the annals of the ShinRa Science Department, specifically in the SOLDIER Containment Cells, and the metal corridor was lined with bars. Some of the cells were silent and dark, while others held the beasts themselves, snarling and growling things, many pacing back and forth and stopping only long enough to fix mako bright eyes on the scientist and HANDLER as they walked by. They truly were like all the stories and video feeds had claimed – beautiful for the raw power that rippled beneath their skin, the power of the planet itself that surged through them, but terrifyingly dangerous. Many SOLDIERs were the same age as Zack, in their late teens and early twenties. The experiments that created them were often performed on young children, so that by the time they reached adulthood, they were deadly killing machines ready to be trained for use on the battlefield.

It was something of a contentious subject, Zack knew, as many people declared it unethical. When the Wutai War which still raged to this day began, people started changing their minds when they saw what SOLDIERs and HANDLERs could do. Besides, the subjects were only orphans. Nobody wanted them anyway.

The scientist came to a stop abruptly in front of one of the cells, and Zack forced his attention away from the other SOLDIERs so he could focus on his feet and not accidently trip over his guide. The scientist shot him an annoyed glance over his shoulder before gesturing to one of the cells. “Sephiroth.” He explained, and Zack felt a tingle at the base of his spine, the excitement at getting to see the first and greatest of the SOLDIERs in person, the so-called Demon of Wutai himself.

The beast in the cell, unlike the others, was not left free to roam as he pleased, but rather was bound kneeling in the middle of the cell, his arms chained behind his back to his ankles by short mako-infused steel, the only material strong enough to subdue a SOLDIER’s strength. His immaculate silver hair fell in a cascade around his heart-shaped face, clinging to pale skin turned sticky with sweat. His mako bright eyes were hidden behind a heavy leather blindfold that blocked out all light in the cell. He was beautiful, as he lifted his face at the sound of the two of them, muscles rippling and straining beneath his bindings and Zack found himself swallowing convulsively at the SOLDIER who wore nothing else yet seemed completely unconcerned with modesty. There was something about that raw power, restrained and subdued as it was, that called to Zack on a primal level.

“His HANDLER has spoiled him.” The scientist explained, lip curled up in disgust at the sight that so fascinated Zack. “HANDLER Angeal Hewley is by and far the most successful of the HANDLERs, and there is no question that Sephiroth obeys him both on and off the battlefield, but when Hewley is called away on separate business, we are forced to resort to chaining his SOLDIER like a wild youngling. At least the others can be trusted not to truly destroy lab equipment or their cells – we can’t even expect that much from this one.”

Zack nodded in understanding, still fascinated even as the scientist turned and began to walk away. Zack lingered as long as he could without falling too far behind. The scientist took no notice, except to say. “I trust you will have more sense when training your SOLDIER, HANDLER Fair. SOLDIERs should be obedient first and foremost to their HANDLERs, but they should also be capable of recognizing the authority of the labs and us, their makers.” Zack bit his lip to keep from making a snide remark about the lab tech’s inflated sense of ego. He’d only been a HANDLER for three days now and he didn’t want to go around making enemies before he’d even gotten his first SOLDIER.

The next time they stopped it was in front of the cell that contained Zack’s SOLDIER. Late yesterday evening Zack had received an email from the Director of SOLDIER, Lazard Deusericus which had included his SOLDIER’s dossier. Not much was contained within, save some basic information about his age, special skills, training and rank. That all paled in comparison to seeing the creature in person.

The SOLDIER was just as beautiful as Sephiroth, though smaller and more delicate in build, all long limbs with whipcord muscles. His hair was blond, an atrocious mess that looked like it’d been sloppily cropped around his ears until it stood up in gravity defying spikes, and his eyes, beneath messy bangs, were a brilliant blue-green that glowing brightly in the dim light of the lab. His only clothing was a pair of plain black drawstring pants slung low over slender hips. The strangest part of the SOLDIER’s appearance, however, was the odd metal cage that wrapped around the beast’s jaw and fastened behind his head, keeping his mouth pressed closed and immobile.

Seeing Zack’s confusion the scientist explained, “I thought you had been made aware of 265’s special case, HANDLER. This beast killed his last HANDLER—tore his throat out on the training room floor when the man wasn’t paying attention. Don’t fall for their angelic looks. These are dangerous weapons and untrained they will turn on you as soon as you’d take your eye off of them. This one especially.”

Zack hadn’t been told, actually, although he knew about the incident of which the scientist spoke. Everyone in the HANDLER program did. Half of Zack’s class had left after that, as suddenly all the glory promised to the HANDLERs didn’t seem worth the possibility of having your throat brutally ripped out by a mindless beast.

The SOLDIER before him, however, didn’t remind Zack of a vicious murderer, or even a particularly murderous monster. Fifteen years old, his dossier had said, responding to the name Cloud and boasting the impressive mako profile of a SOLDIER, First Class. Many SOLDIERs fell into Third Class ranks, a gauge of strength and adaptability to the mako. Only a few were as responsive to mako therapy as this beast had been, and with proper training he might, one day, be as strong Sephiroth himself.

Zack was delighted to learn he had been selected to receive a SOLDIER First Class, even if they were more dangerous than other SOLDIERs. It was an honor, and conferred with it trust in Zack’s abilities. So, as he had when he’d been informed that he would become a HANDLER, Zack consciously squared his shoulders back and said, “I can handle him.”

The scientist looked doubtful at that, but Zack really didn’t care. “Fine. Don’t remove the muzzle under any circumstance. He’s just as likely now to tear out your throat as he was six months ago.”

Zack glanced at the beast in the cell. If he was listening, he didn’t show it. Instead, he was curled up against the wall furthest from the bars, nestled next to the metal slab that served as a bed, watching the two with narrowed eyes. He looked… young… vulnerable. For just a moment, Zack pitied the poor creature, before he remembers how foolish it was to pity monsters. The beast brought it on himself by misbehaving. A little bit of hunger would hardly kill him. “How will he eat?”

“He can go for two weeks between feeding. We’ll give you daily vitamin shots to go alongside his normal sedatives and that will help him keep up his strength. Every two weeks, return him to the lab and we’ll put him under sedation and insert a feeding tube. Don’t worry HANDLER, we’ve been doing this since he killed HANDLER Moritz– there have been no noticeable decreases in his performance while on this feeding schedule.” The scientist explained. Zack nodded absently.

The SOLDIER in the cell finally uncurled himself and began to inch his way towards the bars, moving in a low crouch on the balls of his feet, his hands flat against the floor for support he didn’t need. The four legged gait reminded Zack of the primal beasts that roamed the jungle back home. Carefully, Zack held out his hand, prepared to pull back in case his untrained SOLDIER tried anything, but the beast merely tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply through the nose, as if memorizing Zack’s scent. Zack chuckled and reached out to ruffle blond locks but, with the startling speed of his enhancements, the SOLDIER leapt back and out of Zack’s reach, growling deep in his throat like an angered cat.

“All right.” Zack told the SOLDIER, holding his hands up in a show of surrender. “All right, I won’t touch you.”

 In his cell, the SOLDIER began to pace, ignoring Zack.

 

 

The trip back to Zack’s new apartment was thankfully uneventful. The scientist had retrieved a sedative for the SOLDIER that wouldn’t knock him out but would zap his strength enough for him to be pliant in Zack’s arms as he chained the boy’s wrists with mako steel cuffs and guided him out of the labs. Zack was also given a bag containing three weeks’ worth of medication for his SOLDIER and a handful of tranquilizer darts. If a SOLDIER got out of control, the darts would knock them out instantly. In training, Zack had learned how to deploy one, and also how to hide them within easy access where his SOLDIER wouldn’t find them. The darts were powerful enough to knock a SOLDIER out, but that meant they were also powerful enough to accidentally kill a human. More than one HANDLER had been killed when their SOLDIER had deployed a dart on them.

Zack’s apartment was clean, but only by virtue of it being barely lived in. He’d been assigned new quarters after graduation and acceptance into the HANDLER program. His new apartment had been designed for the purpose of housing both a HANDLER and his SOLDIER. It consisted of a spacious living room/kitchen and two bedrooms. One of the bedrooms was small, designed for guests who might come to visit Zack, or as an office. Zack was still contemplating what he wanted to do with that room.

The other room was almost as large as the living room, if only because a decently sized part of it had been partitioned off using the same mako infused steel bars as the labs. The space within had been designed with a SOLDIER in mind – all reinforced steel with a low bunk built into the wall along the back—a near replica of the laboratory cells. It was small enough that Zack could reach into it from the cell door, but large enough to be comfortable for its occupant. Zack’s bed along the far wall was more than large enough for two people, a fact which had confused Zack at first before he’d just accepted it as a comfort and a luxury. It was far better than the bunks in the barracks had been, and Zack was thrilled to be able to stretch out. Off from the master bedroom was a bathroom large enough for two people to share comfortably, complete with a bathtub that was deep enough to completely immerse oneself. Zack had seen it on his first night and been surprised, before he remembered his training. An untrained SOLDIER couldn’t even be trusted to bathe on his own. The tub was there to make it easier for Zack to follow orders.

Once inside the apartment, Zack undid the SOLDIER’s cuffs and, keeping an eye on him, put the medication away in a locked cabinet in the kitchen. The SOLDIER brushed away from Zack the moment he was free, crouching along the far wall where he could see Zack clearly in the kitchen. Zack leaned against the counter, poised to grab the darts from the pocket sewn into his the inside of his uniform jacket if need be, but the creature just sat back on his heels, alert but unmoving. Zack yawned.

“So, what’d your last HANDLER do to piss you off so bad?” He asked the SOLDIER rhetorically, more to fill the silence. It wasn’t like the thing could answer him. “Cloud’s a weird name. All the other SOLDIERs have names like Essai, Wilson, Maxwell, and then there’s you. Were the scientists really that starved for names when they named you?”

Cloud didn’t seem to care that Zack was talking to him, even though Zack knew SOLDIERs had at least  somewhat of a  grasp on language, even if many couldn’t speak more than a few words. Cloud rose up from his crouch, standing on the balls of his bare feet. Zack watched, wary, as Cloud tiptoed around the living room and into the master bedroom. Zack followed at a distance, noting that even the SOLDIER’s gait was odd, an animalistic lope that reminded Zack, distinctly, of a wolf hunting its prey. Still, Zack didn’t see any harm in letting the creature explore. They’d both be living here for the next few years, or at least until Zack’s next promotion.

Cloud ignored the HANDLER as he crept through the room, running his fingers over the surface of the wall, brushing against the top of the dresser, and finally tracing the length of the bars, memorizing the surfaces. Zack watched him curiously, not knowing what the SOLDIER was doing but seeing no harm in it. The beast hadn’t shown any signs of aggression since Zack had removed the cuffs. He finished exploring the bedroom and moved onto the bathroom.

Earlier in the day, Zack had set a pile of clean and folded towels on the edge of the counter, in case his SOLDIER had needed to be bathed that afternoon. Now Cloud made his way through the room, running his hands over Zack’s toothbrush and toothpaste, his shaving gel, and the small locked case that contained his razors. Along the way, he bumped against the towels, sending them cascading to the floor in a messy heap.

From the way Cloud jumped back, tucking himself in a small alcove between the bathtub and the cabinets, one might have presumed that Cloud had disturbed a nest of monsters who were quick to attack. Fluffy, white, rabbit monsters. As it was, the startled reaction over something so harmless as a pile of fabric amused Zack, who laughed. “It won’t hurt you.” Zack told the beast, gesturing to the pile on the floor. The SOLDIER just watched him, mouth drawn into a thin, tight line beneath his muzzle. Zack sighed and bent down to retrieve the fallen objects.

His back was only turned on the SOLDIER for a moment, but the next thing Zack knew, his head slammed against the edge of the counter as a slight but powerful weight buried itself into him, shoving Zack hard against the tile. Small hands, weakened by sedative, curled around his throat and squeezed. Zack fought for air, one hand going instinctively to the hidden pocket in his uniform. He twisted to look up at the SOLDIER’s face, and momentarily found himself frozen by what he saw there.

The boy’s mako-bright eyes were completely blank, empty of any discerning emotion. There was no rage there, no anger, just cold hard ruthlessness. They truly weren’t human, Zack mused distantly as he finally found his darts. He jammed one into Cloud’s leg and waited until the boy’s eyes fluttered and his hands reluctantly released Zack’s throat. Zack pushed him off and onto the tile floor of the bathroom, gasping and coughing as precious oxygen flooded starved lungs. When he’d caught his breath, Zack turned his attention on Cloud.

Unconscious, the monster’s face lost most of its tension, and those glowing strange eyes of his were hidden behind lids framed with pale, full lashes. Under the muzzle, pale pink lips were parted ever so slightly. Serene, like a sleeping angel waiting to awaken; inhuman in his own beauty. Yet Zack could feel the bruises around his neck, the purpling marks that reminded him that appearances were deceiving. As he stared down at the monster, Zack reminded himself of what it was that made the SOLDIERs so deadly.

He’d made a mistake, and Cloud had nearly killed him. Next time, Zack mused, he wouldn’t be caught off guard. Right now Zack’s greatest enemy was his deadly angel.

 

Zack awoke the next morning to the sound of his alarm clock. It was still early in the day, and much earlier than he needed to wake, but old habits were near impossible to kill. A glance over at the cage along the far wall told Zack that his SOLDIER was still knocked out. Last night, Zack had dragged him over to the cage before leaving him collapsed on the floor. He’d considered placing a blanket in there for the boy, but decided against it. SOLDIERs were capable of keeping their internal body temperature up without the use of aids; a blanket was a luxury he certainly hadn’t earned.

Groggy, Zack rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, turning the faucet on cold and splashing water on his face to help him wake up. He glanced in the mirror briefly, noting the rats’ nest that was his sleep-tousled black hair and the visible purple and blue bruises from Cloud’s hands with the distant apathy of the lethargic. He looked like shit, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he brushed his teeth and half-heartedly attempted to straighten his hair out with a brush.

Back in the bedroom, Zack heard the rustle of fabric as his SOLDIER began to stir. He locked up his razors and went back to his room. Sure enough, the blond haired boy was crouched low in his cage, his fists wrapped around the bars as he watched Zack with silent, cold eyes. The tension was back in his face, making him look older again, and less innocent. More monstrous. Good, Zack mused, it would be easier to keep his guard up this way. He ignored the boy for now and got dressed in a clean uniform, carefully loaded it with fresh darts, and then left for the kitchen to grab the boy’s morning sedative and vitamin shots. While in the kitchen, Zack noticed the cuffs, still deposited on the counter after last night. On a whim, he grabbed them. Might as well make sure the monster didn’t cause any trouble before they made it down to the practice yards for morning training.

“You gonna behave?” Zack asked as he dropped the cuffs on his bed and held out the keys and the shots for Cloud to see. Obediently, the SOLDIER let go of the bars and backed up further into the cage, away from Zack. Zack took this as a good sign and, armed with his darts, unlocked the cell doors. Cautiously, Zack moved closer to the beast, surprised when he simply moved away from him, eyeing the needles warily. Zack sighed and reached out, grabbing the still weakened SOLDIER by his arm. “Hold still!” He ordered, as Cloud struggled and tried to pull away. The boy was no match for Zack in this state, who’d not only been trained for combat, but was also larger and momentarily stronger than his unruly SOLDIER. He managed to wrestle the boy to the floor even as he continued to struggle. Only when Zack was sitting on top of him injecting the first of his shots into his arm did Cloud stop struggling.

It was strange, actually, and Zack was somewhat confused by the action. One moment Cloud had been attempting to buck him off, and in the next he’d gone completely limp, turning his head away from Zack and staring instead at the wall. Zack didn’t comment, even as he mentally filed away the action to be discussed and dissected later on, when he wasn’t in the precarious position of giving a stubborn and disobedient SOLDIER his morning shots. He didn’t linger on top of the smaller beast, climbing off and watching as Cloud rolled away, his back to the HANDLER as he lay, silent and sedated on the floor. The shots wouldn’t knock him out, not like the darts would, but they’d keep his SOLDIER strength subdued for training. SOLDIERs were always kept sedated when not out on missions.

Zack took advantage of Cloud’s momentary lapse into oblivion to grab the bindings off his bed, snapping them around the boy’s wrists before he had a chance to react. The key went on his ring with all the others, tucked into a pocket beside the darts. He set Cloud back on his heels and left, intending to finish getting dressed. Instead he found himself staring at his SOLDIER, who was studying the floor in front of him, completely unmoving.

“You should be excited.” He told the SOLDIER, digging around under his bed for his boots. “You get to fight today.”

No reaction. Zack got up and double-checkedto make sure all of his gear was on him before grabbing the SOLDIER up off the floor and steering him out of the room. Cloud went without protest and Zack sighed. “I guess monsters like you only like the slaughter and the bloodshed, then.”

 

 

Zack stepped off the lift, his hand on Cloud’s shoulder to steer the SOLDIER into the moderately busy lobby of the SOLDIER Training floor. It was early, but already several HANDLERs were lounging on the couches, chatting with each other while their SOLDIERs, in various stages of full discipline, either waited silently against the wall or knelt in bindings at their HANDLER’s feet. Zack glanced around the room briefly before spotting his best friend from training, Kunsel, seated on the far side of the room, his SOLDIER kneeling at his feet while Kunsel fed him pieces of a cookie from his hand. They both glanced up at Zack and Cloud as they walked over to them.

“Well, look who it is!” Kunsel called by way of greeting. “And you have your SOLDIER, finally.”

Zack pushed Cloud down to his knees before flopping onto the couch beside Kunsel. “Yep! Took long enough. I guess considering who Cloudy here is, it kind of makes sense.”

Kunsel didn’t seem nearly as surprised as Zack thought he would, as he took in Cloud, noting the mess of blond hair and the mako-steel muzzle that encased his jaw. “You were assigned the SOLDIER that killed HANDLER Moritz six months ago? They must have a lot of faith in you to give you that SOLDIER.” Kunsel said, glancing down at his own SOLDIER. To Zack, it looked like the beast was maybe a year or so younger than Cloud, with hair that was a dirtier shade of blond cropped short around his ears. Wide mako eyes stared at Zack, unblinking as Cloud’s own and just as unnerving. No wonder SOLDIERs gave people the creeps.

“It’s either that or I pissed off the instructors enough that they decided this was the best way to get rid of me.” Zack joked, but with the evidence of what had transpired last night still lingering on his very sore neck, the joke fell flat between them.

Kunsel shook his head. “You were the best in training, so I’m sure it’s faith they have in you, not irritation. Even if you are so damn annoying at times.” He teased and Zack laughed, swatting at him playfully. Kunsel’s expression turned serious as he asked, “Remember what Instructor Connell said about reinforcement learning?”

Zack glanced down at Cloud, thinking. “I’m not sure a shock collar would do anything more than make him more aggressive.” He admitted. “Didn’t Instructor Connell say that operative conditioning was more effective and less likely to make them mentally unstable?”

Kunsel nodded, and reminded of that passed another chunk of the cookie he was breaking apart in his hands to the SOLDIER, who ate demurely. “So it does. That’s why they’re offering all those extra classes on operative conditioning and positive reinforcement. They want all HANDLERs to start using those methods. But remember Zack, it relies on rewards for good behavior. How are you going to reward that?” He gestured to the muzzle.

Zack frowned thoughtfully. In training they’d learned that young SOLDIERs often responded to food as rewards while older ones responded to things like being given more freedom or games to play. Cloud couldn’t be given the first one, and certainly couldn’t be trusted with the latteroptions. He hadn’t had a chance to decide what kind of rewards he was going to use instead.

“I’ll think of something.” He said, standing up. “But for now I should get into one of the gyms. Need to start somewhere, right?”

Kunsel nodded. “You’ve got a First Class. You got your watcher?”

“Not yet. You available? I’ve been watching over you and your SOLDIER for the last few days. Think you could return the favor?”

Kunsel shook his head. “Sorry. I promise I will in the future, but I’ve got a mission briefing in twenty.”

“Wow, check you out! Already going on your first mission.”

Kunsel ducked away, and if Zack didn’t know that man better he’d almost guess that he was embarrassed. “Nothing special. Just killing monsters on the outskirts of Midgar. There’s an older HANDLER second who has been sent to accompany me. It’s just to get the feel for a battle.” He changed the subject. “You gonna be okay without a watcher?”

Zack shrugged. “Yeah. I’ll stick to the main gym today. Hopefully it isn’t too crowded.” The main gym had a watcher permanently assigned to it – a HANDLER or Turk whose job was to supervise other HANDLER/SOLDIER pairs in case of an emergency. Cloud was the reason they’d implemented the system.

“All right. Good luck training.”

“Yeah, you too. Have fun in the field.”

 

 

As it turned out, Zack did need luck. Or a shock stick. Or something else that would help him probe his lethargic SOLDIER into actually moving. He’d spent most of the morning and the first part of the afternoon facing down Cloud who, sedated and weakened, had been armed with a dull training knife and given orders by Zack to attack him. However, Cloud had not attacked, instead staring at Zack with unblinking bright eyes, the dagger clasped loosely by his side. Zack had tried to provoke him by feinting attacks, but Cloud didn’t even flinch and Zack was forced to fall back to avoid injuring his SOLDIER. He knew from Cloud’s dossier that he’d had some weapons training – hell, had even been on missions before – so that couldn’t possibly be why he stood here now, affecting cluelessness.

Finally, Zack withdrew, and met the boy’s eyes, staring at him incredulously. “Why won’t you fight?” He asked. He was getting tired of these rhetorical questions. “I thought you’d be excited for a chance to stretch out and let loose.”

“Try landing an actual blow.” The watcher, a Turk in a dishelved uniform with messy black hair, two guns holstered on his hips, told Zack. “Every beast has instincts of self-preservation that drive them on the battlefield. Sometimes they just need a little persuasion to bring them out. Prove you’re serious; attack him.”

Zack scowled, glancing back over at Cloud who was standing perfectly still, ignoring him. He could… Director Lazard might be pushing an agenda of rewards instead of punishments, but nobody would interfere with his training methods. Others had done the same, with favorable results. Then he remembered Cloud’s face last night, when the SOLDIER had been unconscious, his childish face peaceful and open. Zack could no more kick a puppy.

He berated himself for that thought. SOLDIERs were weapons, to be used at the discretion of the HANDLER who acted under orders from the ShinRa Corporation. If a gun failed to fire, it was discarded; if a SOLDIER failed to fight…

He offered the Turk a winning smile. “I’m gonna try a little longer, but I’ll keep your suggestion in mind. Thanks!”

The Turk shrugged, he likely didn’t care one way or another what happened so long as no HANDLERs got killed. “It’s your SOLDIER.” He said, “Though I don’t envy you for getting him. Of all the SOLDIERs in ShinRa, that one’s the most terrifying. And I’ve seen Sephiroth fight.”

Funny, a Turk thought Cloud was terrifying. Turks, who everyone knew did the dirty work for the President. Zack pushed that aside, buckling down instead to return to training.

 “C’mon Cloud.” He called. “Just one spar and then we’ll go get food and call it quits for the day.” Zack’s stomach was growling. He’d skipped breakfast and he’d been so absorbed with Cloud all day that he’d missed lunch as well. Dinner would be starting soon in the HANDLER cafeteria, but even if he didn’t get that there were always the local food places around the tower where he could order out.

It didn’t work. Cloud just stood there staring, uninterested in anything at all and Zack was hungry. Maybe the tranquilizer last night was still affecting him. Ah, well, Zack decided. They could try again tomorrow. Despite what he told the Turk, he really wasn’t keen on following that line of training. “All right, put the dagger away.” He ordered, setting his own weapon down. “Let’s go get something to eat and call it a day.”

Zack turned away when, just as he’d been waiting for all day, Cloud attacked. The young SOLDIER launched himself from his relaxed position into a battle ready stance, sprinting across the floor with a speed impressive even for a SOLDIER, barreling into Zack and knocking him to the ground, the dagger in his hand blunt enough to bruise as Cloud knocked it against his shoulder, dragging the blade down and across his chest, scratching more than cutting. Zack grunted, and bucked, throwing the vicious little monster off of him as he reached for his darts, but Cloud barreled into him again, small hands pinning Zack’s wrists as he growled low in his throat. Zack twisted but Cloud had his weight pressed into him. Zack had thought him skinny, but he was actually quite heavy. Cloud had him completely pinned and with rising dread, Zack realized he was trapped. He only hoped the Turk would be able to help him.


	3. The HANDLER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a new chapter. These are part of a rewrite I'm doing of this story. It was never abandoned, but an abusive relationship will kill your creativity. I'm glad to be back to writing again, although it's been a long road to get here. To the vast majority of readers who were supportive: thank you so much. You mean the world to me. To the people who were critical or rude: you never know what's going on in an author's life. In this case, I was being emotionally abused by my boyfriend who would gaslight me and cut into my writing time until I stopped writing all together. It killed my soul and your nasty reviews only made things worse. Please remember to be kind and understanding before you leave some other poor author a nasty review.
> 
> Thank you, and I apologize to anyone who got their hopes up. Chapter three is halfway complete, but probably won't be completed until I finish writing Ashes. Sorry, but you're in for another bit of a wait.

Cloud was going to kill him. That thought was enough to send Zack into a panicked frenzy, struggling to no avail. He closed his eyes so he didn’t have to look at the lifeless bright eyes of his inhuman SOLDIER.

There was a grunt, a growl, and suddenly Zack’s wrists were released. He sat up in time to see his SOLDIER thrown across the room, a blur of silver chasing after him. Zack felt hands grab him by his upper arms, dragging him out of harm’s way and against the wall, next to where the Turk watcher had been stunned into silence, as Sephiroth sent Cloud crashing back towards them. He watched as his SOLDIER righted himself into a low crouch and growled deep in the back of his throat, launching himself at the older, silver haired monster. Sephiroth, however, was ready for him, looking perfectly serene standing in the middle of the room, green cat-like eyes focused completely on the blond. To Zack’s surprise, the two were fairly evenly matched, as far as strength went, but Cloud was slower, younger, and had less training. It almost looked like Sephiroth was toying with him.

“Sephiroth, disable!” The man who’d grabbed Zack shouted, and Zack glanced up at him. Dark hair and eyes, a square face with a strong jaw and a permanent serious scowl on his face. Zack would have recognized HANDLER Angeal Hewley anywhere.

Zack turned his attention back to the battle in time to see Sephiroth feint, catching Cloud by one arm and then the other, effectively trapping the wild SOLDIER against his body in a hold Cloud couldn’t escape from. HANDLER Hewley stood, pulling a dart from his pocket, which he stabbed into Cloud’s exposed shoulder. The SOLDIER struggled until the effects of the tranquilizer forced him into unconsciousness. Only when he’d stopped moving did Sephiroth very carefully lower the SOLDIER the ground, showing far more concern than he had during their battle seconds earlier. Zack stumbled to his feet and ran over to them, grateful to see that Cloud looked uninjured.

“He’ll be fine, HANDLER.” Hewley said, as if he’d read Zack’s thoughts. Still, he checked Cloud’s vitals and breathing, finding both to be normal and strong. Hewley clucked his tongue against his teeth and said, “Nothing out of the ordinary, though you might want to keep your guard up next time.”

Zack nodded, chagrinned as he ducked away so that Hewley wouldn’t see his face. He’d been nearly killed by his SOLDIER twice in as many days. Hewley, however, seemed unconcerned with Zack now that Cloud was subdued. Instead, the older man had turned his attention to the Turk who was supposed to be watching them.

“What was that?” Hewley growled, tone low and deadly as he advanced on the Turk, who, to his credit, had squared his shoulders back and drawn up in height. “A HANDLER is nearly killed under your watch and instead of interfering you stand around like landed fish.”

“With all due respect,” the Turk began, “I was caught off guard. Turks are not trained to handle SOLDIERs.”

Hewley clucked his tongue disapprovingly. “You were appointed watcher, and if you can’t do your job than you’re less than useless. Get out of here and tell Veld that the HANDLERs do not trust you with their lives. A life could have been lost today if I hadn’t happened to pass through.”

The Turk beat a hasty retreat and Hewley turned his attention to the other HANDLERs gathered in the training hall. Like Zack, they’d been engaged in working with their own SOLDIERs and hadn’t noticed Zack had gone down until it was almost too late. Hewley gestured to one, a HANDLER second class whose dark haired SOLDIER looked almost as old as Sephiroth. “Owens, the next watcher comes on shift in just over an hour. I need you to watch the gym until then.”

“Yes, Commander.” Owens acquiesced, already cuffing his SOLDIER before handing him over to another HANDLER, likely to watch until Owens came off duty.

Finally satisfied, Hewley turned his attention back to Zack, who was still trying not to let his embarrassment show. He’d been bested in front of an entire gym of more experienced first and second classes on his first official day as a HANDLER.

“Thanks for saving me, sir. I thought I was dead for sure.” Zack mumbled.

Hewley just stared at him for a moment before his scowl melted away to what might have been the beginning of a smile. “You’re too young to go getting yourself killed.” He said, as if that explained everything. “Still, I don’t envy you the task of training Cloud. It’s been a while since the last time anyone tried to recover a completely feral SOLDIER.”

Zack cocked his head to the side, unsure of what to make of the comment. What did Hewley mean by completely feral? Cloud was insane, Zack was starting realize that, but what did Angeal mean when he called the beast feral? Was it different from the way the other SOLDIERs were feral; beasts in need of training? The questions rushed through his head as Zack contemplated the best one to ask, unable to pick just one of them. Instead, he said, “Sir, what do you know about my SOLDIER?”

“Not _sir_ , Angeal.” The HANDLER replied, holding out his hand for Zack to shake. “You’re SOLDIER HANDLER Zack Fair, right? I’ve heard a lot of good things about you.”

“Uh, thanks. I think.” Zack ducked his head, distantly pleased and mortified both to have been recognized by someone so far above him in rank.

“Relax, Zack, it’s a compliment to your temperament and dedication during training.” Angeal replied. “But to answer your last question I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific. I know quite a bit about all the SOLDIERs. This one, for example,” he gestured to Cloud, “was born in Nibelheim and taken into the SOLDIER program ten years ago at the age of five. His mako Reactivity is the third highest in all of SOLDIER, and when he’s fully trained he is expected to be as strong as Sephiroth. You can understand, then, why ShinRa might be reluctant to put down one of their greatest successes.”

Zack nodded. Ten years of research and experimentation was a lot to throw away, even in the SOLDIER program. And if Cloud really did have the potential to match Sephiroth – who was widely regarded by ShinRa as being absolutely peerless – then Zack could see their reluctance. In the twenty year history of the SOLDIER program, no other SOLDIER had ever come anywhere close to reaching Sephiroth’s skill and power on the battlefield.

Still, it wasn’t what Zack wanted to know. “What do you mean by feral?” He asked, watching Cloud breathe deep through his nose in the dreamless state of unconsciousness.

Angeal just smiled, a grim sort of expression that betrayed absolutely no happiness in it, and studied the younger HANDLER with dark eyes.

Sephiroth moved his hands just then. He’d been standing patiently nearby, within eyesight of Angeal, but with his arms crossed over his chest in a waiting position. Now his hands moved rapidly for a couple of seconds before Angeal nodded to him. To Zack, Angeal said, “It’s noisy down here. Why don’t we take Cloud back to your room and talk there?”

Zack nodded although it was more that he was stilled dazed by Angeal and Sephiroth’s presence (the most famous HANDLER was talking to him) than that he’d processed and agreed with the request. Sephiroth knelt down and picked Cloud up, carrying him far more easily than Zack ever could have. The trip to Zack’s apartment was fairly short, if only because Zack and Angeal spent most of it making small talk about SOLDIERs, ShinRa, and favorite Midgar haunts. Once back at his place, Sephiroth carried Cloud over to his cage and put him on the low alcove before he turned to Angeal and moved his hands again. Angeal looked at Zack, “Do you have a blanket we can put over him?” He asked.

Zack frowned. They didn’t need blankets; SOLDIERs didn’t get cold. He debated refusing, but this was Angeal, _HANDLER Hewley_ , who was a ShinRa legend! He nodded. “In the closet.”

Sephiroth showed remarkable care as he draped the blanket over Cloud, making sure the boy was resting comfortably so that no part of his body lost circulation or cramped from his position, before he finally left the cage. Even then, he gestured to Cloud, looking at his HANDLER. Zack didn’t need to be able to read Sephiroth’s unspoken language to know what his request was. He nodded to him and the SOLDIER knelt down gracefully outside the cell door, his attention focused on the sleeping SOLDIER.

Zack and Angeal left Sephiroth to his silent vigil and went into the living room, where they arranged themselves comfortably on the couch as Zack grabbed two glasses of water for them. Zack was parched from training, but Angeal drank slowly, patiently waiting for Zack to speak first.

“Does Sephiroth speak?” Zack asked finally, after getting up once to refill his glass. “I know SOLDIERs don’t generally speak much, but I didn’t think they were mute… are they?”

Angeal chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ve never heard Sephiroth so much as cry out, and I’ve known him since he was eight.” He admitted. “If he can, then he just prefers to sign, though I wouldn’t be surprised if he just never learned how – SOLDIER upbringing isn’t conducive to learning communication skills.”

Zack nodded, but he was still struggling with the mental image of a young Sephiroth and a young Angeal. If the SOLDIER program was around twenty years old, then Sephiroth could only be a few years older than that – maybe five or so years older than Zack. “How long have you been his HANDLER?”

Angeal exhaled, rolling his eyes up as he counted years. “If I’m twenty-four then… probably around nine or ten years now.”

“Wow. You were a HANDLER as a teenager?”

Angeal shrugged off Zack’s amazement nonchalantly. “I’ve always known how to deal with Sephiroth.” He said seriously, “The other scientists would get him all riled up and I’d calm him down again. When the idea of HANDLERs was proposed it… made sense… for me to train him. After all, we’d already developed our own sign language by then.”

“Does the sign language work at all? I mean, in handling him. Not just for communication.” Zack asked eagerly. Angeal controlled Sephiroth as easily as he breathed, and Sephiroth was so calm and well behaved when Angeal was around. Zack was jealous, in a way. He wanted Cloud to be that docile. At least then maybe Zack could take a shower in peace without worrying about being murdered in the attempt.

The older HANDLER stared at him, flat and unreadable for a long moment before he said, “You’d be amazed at how many problems can be avoided simply by having an effective means to communicate.” He explained. “Cloud knows some of Sephiroth’s signs – I think Sephiroth’s taught him most of them. I will teach you some if you think you’ll use them. Who knows, maybe you can ask Cloud why he tried to kill you.”

Zack chuckled softly, but the joke was hardly funny. With two murder attempts in as many days, Zack would be lucky to live out the week at this rate. However, he’d gladly take whatever help the older HANDLER was willing to offer. It seemed kind of like a silly idea, teaching his SOLDIER to communicate, but it seemed to work for Angeal. Besides, what did he have to lose? It couldn’t hurt anything.

He agreed to try and Angeal nodded, as if he’d never doubted that Zack would agree. A sort of silence settled between them as they sipped their water, and Zack occasionally glanced back at the door to his bedroom. “Something the matter?” Angeal finally asked after the fourth time Zack not-to-discretely glanced over his shoulder.

“Nothing.”  Zack said, before admitting. “I kind of thought SOLDIERs were like wolves, but Sephiroth seems sociable.”

“Wolves are possessive creatures, Zack.” Angeal explained calmly. “They’re not sociable to anyone who isn’t part of their pack.”

As if on cue, the door to Zack’s room opened then and Sephiroth stepped out, gliding across the room gracefully, long silver hair flowing behind him as he took a seat on the floor next to Angeal, staring at Zack with bright eyes narrowed in an eerily perfect face. Was it mako, Zack wondered not for the first time, that made SOLDIERs so inhumanely beautiful? Angeal put his hand on his SOLDIER’s head, the action more subconscious than deliberate, but Sephiroth allowed it, calmly keeping his eyes trained on Zack.  Angeal sighed. “Some wolves think with their stomachs.” He commented. Sephiroth ignored him but Zack blinked as Angeal rose, the SOLDIER following him.

“Would you like to join us for dinner, Zack?” Angeal asked.

Zack shook his head. “No, got food here I can eat. I’d rather not leave my SOLDIER alone in my apartment if I can help it.” He explained. Cloud wouldn’t wake up, but if by some fluke he did… well, Zack didn’t want to risk it.

Angeal nodded in understanding. “Tomorrow morning at o-eight-hundred then. SOLDIER training floor in one of the private rooms.” At Zack’s confirming nod, he added, “Eat breakfast, too. Response times are often slowed due to a lack of proper nutrition, and with the SOLDIERs that’s the difference between life and, well, what happened today.”

Zack nodded, wondering if Angeal had somehow figured out that he’d skipped eating all day today. He scoffed at the thought immediately afterwards – nobody was that perceptive. Still, he took the warning at face value and ate just as soon as he saw the older HANDLER and SOLDIER out of his apartment.

 

 

The next morning, Cloud sat at the kitchen table staring at Zack as the HANDLER cooked breakfast. If ever looks could kill, Zack decided as the smell of scrambled eggs and burning bacon wafted through the apartment, then surely Cloud’s would have murdered him thrice over this morning alone. The SOLDIER managed to look perfectly displeased, wet and disoriented in his bindings from the impromptu bath Zack had given him that morning, mostly to wash off the stale sweat that still clung to his skin from his brief but intense fight with Sephiroth yesterday. The bath hadn’t been easy, since Cloud had fought him the moment he’d put the beast in the already filled tub, but Zack had washed enough dogs in his youth that wrestling one more – even if he did look human – was not that much more of a challenge.

So now Cloud sat at the table, glaring holes in the back of Zack’s head, as those sloppy blond spikes of his dripped water down his bare chest. Zack had dressed him in a pair of SOLDIER uniform pants, but he didn’t dare risk removing the SOLDIER’s cuffs just yet. No, he’d wait until he was safely in the gym, where Sephiroth could pull the boy off of him if he decided to get revenge for the bath.

The clock above the stove read 7:30, though Zack felt it had to be running slow. He bounced back and forth on his feet, waiting for the toaster to ding, and feeling more excited than he’d been since he’d gotten into the HANDLER program. Angeal Hewley had offered to mentor him! He couldn’t believe his luck! Not only had he been trusted to train a very powerful SOLDIER, but now he was going to be receiving training help from ShinRa’s most famous HANDLER!

The toaster dinged and Zack grabbed a plate. Toast with butter and jam was joined with eggs and bacon, Zack’s usual cup of coffee beside it. He set the food down on the table and took a seat. Cloud was staring at the food and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he wanted some. Zack chuckled and patted the SOLDIER’s head in mock affection. “Cheer up, Spikey. Maybe if you start behaving, they’ll let you eat real food again, instead of just shoving a tube down your throat.”

The SOLDIER growled low in his throat, a negative if ever Zack heard one, but Zack merely went back to eating his food, unperturbed. Cloud glared at him, brilliant blue eyes narrowed as he continued growling. Zack did his best to ignore him. It was a bit like trying to eat meat in a tiger’s den, Zack imagined, with the tiger growling at you from three feet away, threatening death if they can get close enough. It was almost enough to make him lose his appetite.

Almost, but not quite, though Zack did wolf down the meal with the speed he’d learned from living in the military barracks since he was a young teenager. Men in the mess tended to be fast eaters out of necessity. He set all the dishes in the sink and washed the knives before locking them back up in the mako steel safe in the cabinet.

“Ready to go?” He asked his SOLDIER when he was done putting away dishes and getting his gear. Cloud growled at him.

 

 

The training floor was busy at this hour of the morning, in between HANDLERs finishing up morning training and receiving their daily missions. Kunsel and his SOLDIER were in one of the training rooms working on hand to hand combat, watched over by an older HANDLER and SOLDIER pair, probably the same two who had accompanied them on their mission yesterday. Zack watched them for a few minutes from behind the one way mirror that looked into the training room, envious of how much more docile Essai, Kunsel’s SOLDIER, was compared to Cloud.

Angeal and Sephiroth were already in one of the larger training rooms. Angeal leaned against the wall watching as his SOLDIER stretched out in the middle, dressed only in the same dark pants as Cloud, a harness for his sword belted across his chest but lacking the immensely long blade that had become the silver haired SOLDIER’s calling card. He ignored the younger pair as they entered the room, but Angeal glanced over at them, his expression softening just slightly. Zack waved cheerfully at him and with his free hand on the small of Cloud’s back, guided the still-sulking SOLDIER over to HANDLER. 

“Difficult morning?” Angeal asked, gesturing to Cloud’s bound hands.

“Always a difficult morning.” Zack replied, already reaching for the keys to Cloud’s cuffs. The SOLDIER jerked away from him, and Zack let him go, one eyebrow raised as he regarded the petulant young SOLDIER. “All right Spikey, if you don’t want me to take off the cuffs…” He trailed off meaningfully, holding up the key to show the SOLDIER. Cloud growled at him.

With a sigh, Angeal pushed himself off the wall and moved to stand directly in front of Cloud, blocking him from Zack’s view. Zack moved so he could see what the HANDLER did as the man signed a long string of gestures to the beast. At the end of them they both waited, Angeal staring at Cloud as the beast glared back. Then Cloud growled again.

Angeal clapped his hands together loudly just inches from Cloud’s face, the sound echoing in the small room, making Zack jump instinctively. Even Sephiroth glanced over at them, an expression almost like a frown on that beautiful face before he went back to what he was doing wordlessly. Angeal repeated the gestures and paused while Cloud glared at him. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Cloud sank to his knees.

To Zack, it felt like a miracle had happened right before his eyes. The SOLDIER waited there, kneeling with his head bowed to Angeal in the very picture of well-trained subservience. Zack hadn’t even known it was possible for the little brat to ever look like that. “What the hell did you tell him?” Zack asked in awe as Angeal stepped off to the side.

Angeal smiled. “You’ll see. You can take the cuffs off him, but then step back immediately. You won’t want to stand in his way.” The older HANDLER leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms again. Zack eyed him suspiciously, but didn’t delay for long. Cloud was fidgeting slightly, moving restlessly against his restraints, anticipation sparking about him, strong enough that Zack could feel it as he knelt behind the SOLDIER and unlocked the cuffs.

The moment the bands fell free the young SOLDIER launched himself forward, the force sending Zack stumbling back against the wall. He caught himself, helplessly watching as Cloud immediately sprang towards Sephiroth, who had his back to the young SOLDIER. Sephiroth, however, didn’t even rise, still seated on the floor to stretch. Instead, the silver-haired SOLDIER raised one hand up and leaned back, catching Cloud’s arm and pulling the younger creature over his body, before kicking him right in the stomach. The result sent Cloud flying up and ahead of Sephiroth, landing with a grunt on his back. Sephiroth used the resulting momentum to roll back onto his feet, standing and glaring at the slightly winded smaller SOLDIER who was pushing himself back to his feet, preparing to launch again.

“Angeal.” Zack called urgently, watching the two SOLDIERs as they circled each other on the training room floor. “Shouldn’t Sephiroth be taking Cloud down right about now?”

Angeal glanced over at the young HANDLER, an unfathomable hint of a smile playing out in his expression. Amusement, carefully contained in his features but not in his voice where it was obvious. “And ruin their playing?” Angeal asked mildly. “It will do them both some good to spar for a while. Sephiroth has been in the labs for the last week and Cloud is too aggressive to listen to instructions right now.” Zack ducked out of the way of fight when Sephiroth sent Cloud crashing to the floor barely three feet away from him and moved to stand by Angeal. At least the older man didn’t look like he was in the way of direct harm. “Don’t worry, Sephiroth won’t hurt your SOLDIER.”

A crack rang out in the room just then, as if to illustrate the fact that Zack knew Angeal was lying to him. Cloud crashed against the floor again, catching himself on one hand, as the other was bent at an odd angle, broken. “Right.” Zack drawled, feeling oddly concerned about his SOLDIER. He knew SOLDIERs could take a lot of damage and still fight, but Cloud’s wrist had to be _broken_ now, judging by sound it had made. Funny, he was supposed to be the SOLDIER’s HANDLER, but the damn thing had tried to kill him twice already and Zack still felt concern for it. Logically, Zack thought perhaps he should be enjoying the fight, the sight of two blood thirsty monsters in their most primal form – intoxicating and beautiful. Yet somehow all Zack could do was worry from the side about potential broken bones.

From the way Cloud merely snapped his wrist again, a crack as bones resettled, he probably wasn’t nearly as injured as Zack though. Probably.

“How’s your neck?” Angeal asked casually, never taking his eyes off the sparring SOLDIERs. Sephiroth was winning, but Cloud seemed to be doing a fairly good job of holding his own, even if Zack could spot the weaknesses in the untrained SOLDIER’s fighting stance. The thing had absolutely no discipline.

Instinctively, Zack’s hand went to his throat, touching the bruising carefully. “It doesn’t hurt.” He admitted. No, it was just a visually humiliating reminder of his inability to control his own SOLDIER.

Angeal pushed himself off the wall and cupped Zack’s face between his hands. “Let me see.” He ordered, studying the bruises for a moment before he shook his head. “Congratulations, HANDLER, you have your first training marks.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Zack asked, shrugging out of the older HANDLER’s grip. “Or is it some sort of rite of passage, to be nearly murdered by your own SOLDIER.”

“It’s more a rite of passage. Just give your friend a few days, and he’ll have one too. Even the calmest SOLDIERs will try to attack their HANDLERs during training.” Angeal answered, leaning back against the wall. The spar looked like it was starting to wind down. Sephiroth looked undisturbed, waiting in an open and easy stance, not a strand of silver hair out of place, but Cloud was breathing heavily through his nose, jaw bones flexing at the unforgiving steel of the muzzle, fighting against it as he instinctively sought more air. Zack and Angeal both noticed Cloud’s difficulty breathing, but Angeal did nothing more than keep steady dark eyes trained on the SOLDIER. Zack waited, wondering. Was the primitive, animalistic instinct to fight so deeply ingrained in the SOLDIERs that his would even go so far as to drive himself to unconsciousness due to a lack of air?

They waited, anxious and alert, as the two SOLDIERs regarded each other.

Some unspoken cue passed beneath Zack’s notice and all of a sudden Angeal’s hand shifted to a pocket on his uniform vest, reaching for a dart as Sephiroth lunged at Cloud, pinning the young SOLDIER to the floor in a hold that Cloud struggled against, but couldn’t break free from. Angeal crouched down before the pair, staring straight into Cloud’s brilliant eyes.

“Stop fighting.” Angeal ordered, and to Zack’s surprise the SOLDIER obeyed, going limp beneath Sephiroth as he turned his gaze up at the ceiling. Sephiroth eased off the SOLDIER slightly, but kept him pinned beneath his hands.

 _How did he do that?_ Zack wondered, jealous. He made it look so easy – just look like you’re in control and issue the order. Sure, in training he’d learned that authority was the first part of control with SOLDIERs. You, the HANDLER, were in control of the situation. You had the authority, not them. But Zack seriously doubted a firm voice alone was what Cloud had responded to.

Angeal stood up and gestured for Zack to come closer. Without a word, he went through a string of motions with his hands, slow and deliberate so that Zack could follow them. There were only a few and when he finished, Angeal said, “Repeat them back to me.”

It took Zack a few tries before Angeal smiled at him and nodded in approval. “Great!” Zack cheered, “Now what am I saying?”

“Heel.” Angeal said, making the first motion. He went through the others in order. “Guard, attack, wait, ready, and kneel.”

Zack cocked his head to the side at the last one. The rest made sense – they were standard call orders – but the last one was a bit surprising. He repeated it, a downward push of the hand like forcing someone to their knees. It made sense, but he still wasn’t sure why Angeal had taught it to him.

Angeal turned his attention back to Sephiroth, issuing a long string of commands to the SOLDIER, one of which Zack recognized as the kneel command. Sephiroth eased himself off of Cloud, who barely even blinked at the shift, and signed back to Angeal, settling himself on the floor, cross legged and waiting, frowning slightly. When he was done, he placed one hand casually across Cloud’s throat, just below the muzzle, pinning the SOLDIER. Angeal nodded, and Sephiroth shifted, grabbing Cloud’s arm and pulling the SOLDIER up until he was sitting on the floor beside him.

Cloud sat beside Sephiroth staring at the two HANDLERs, calmer and more relaxed than Zack had ever seen him. His breathing was evening out again, his chest no longer heaving as he fought to keep his blood full of oxygen. Angeal nodded in approval, signing a long string of words to Cloud. The young SOLDIER watched him, before replying in slow, deliberate gestures. The “conversation” went on for several minutes as Zack watched, trying to guess at the gestures and what they meant, especially the ones that were repeated several times.

When they were done, Angeal gestured for Zack. “From the sparring earlier, what do you think Cloud needs the most work on?” He asked.

Zack paused. “His discipline.” He said immediately. Angeal was testing him, checking to see if he’d been paying attention during Cloud and Sephiroth’s spar. “His stance is sloppy and defense poor – it leaves him open for attack.”

Angeal nodded. “But if he’s low to the ground then he’s a smaller target for attack.”

“Yes, but his center of gravity is too low. He can’t attack like that, nor shift to an attacking position without throwing himself off balance. SOLDIERs might be fast, but that means little without balance.” Zack replied, reciting what he’d learned from HANDLER training. HANDLERs were trained warriors in their own right, on par with Turks in combat, with the added bonus that most HANDLERs were also trained in Materia use. They had to be able to hold their own in battle, even while commanding their SOLDIERs. Furthermore, they were trained to teach, and Zack did know how to observe, even when he didn’t look like it.

Angeal nodded, and motioned towards Cloud with a meaningful look. Sephiroth rose to his feet gracefully, retreating to the far side of the room. Angeal stepped back and Zack, taking the unspoken cue from Angeal, made the motion for Cloud to ready. To his surprise, the SOLDIER obeyed, rising to his feet and waiting in the easy, casual stance that Zack had come to associate with people trained to fight – a stance that could easily be shifted into a guard if need be.

“Good.” Angeal said. “One last sign.” He told Zack, and with that he raised his left hand and curled his fingers so that the index was almost but not quite touching the thumb, as if he was holding an invisible coin up for Zack to see. He held that sign over his heart, sweeping across to his right arm over his chest.

Zack mimicked the motion and when Angeal smiled he said, “Great! Now what did I say?”

“Take a guess.” Angeal commanded, but at Zack’s bewildered expression, he caved. “ _Near to the heart_.” He explained, and made the motion again. “It’s a name sign. Cloud’s name sign.”

Zack repeated it. It felt strange, somehow, signing a name instead of speaking it, especially given the meaning Angeal had given him. How the hell did a beast as wild and vicious as Cloud end up with a name like that?


	4. First Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought with me every step of the way. It was initially started three years ago and then abandoned because of viewpoint problems. Then, when I picked this story up again it stalled due to trying to translate my notes into actual story coherently. A huge thanks goes out to [Kittaback](http://kittaback.tumblr.com) for helping write parts of this chapter and helping me with my notes. As always you can read the chapter early on my [writing tumblr](http://storytellerlockea.tumblr.com) or follow my [personal tumblr](http://lockea.tumblr.com) where I'm riding the hype train about the Final Fantasy VII remake.

Cloud’s wrist was swollen for a total of three hours. Zack knew that the SOLDIERs healed quickly, but actually watching as Cloud’s body repaired itself – without the use of materia or more mundane medication – suddenly made that offhand statement so much more incredible, reminding him again of the power inherent in such a small form. And if the SOLDIER felt any pain during those three hours as the bones knit back together and the tendons repaired themselves, he didn’t show it. In fact, he was downright passive for the rest of the morning as Angeal alternated between watching how Zack taught (too gently, lacking the firm hand that Cloud needed) and teaching Cloud himself. Angeal, Zack noted, treated Cloud as if the injury did not exist at all.

By the end of the first day, Zack was more exhausted than he’d been since he started as a Cadet, four years ago, his head swimming with signs and helpful tips Angeal had given, trying to remember it all. He was barely awake, and if Cloud hadn’t, likewise, been driven to exhaustion then Zack was fairly sure he wouldn’t have made it into another day. Instead they both fell, weary and frayed, into what Zack later recalled was the most restful sleep he’d had since he joined ShinRa.

It took Zack three days to learn to read his SOLDIER – to use the way Cloud moved through his exercises under Angeal’s steady tutelage to determine Cloud’s mood. Jerky, stilted movements indicated a growing annoyance and more often than not resulted in a fight; always with Sephiroth, who always seemed to win no matter what dirty tricks Zack’s SOLDIER tried to pull. Fluid, relaxed movements meant attention and the attentiveness was the best for learning. Angeal was a master at exploiting those shifts in mood.

“Any man can beat a dog until it’s vicious and mean.” Angeal explained on the third day when Zack asked him how he did it. How did he make Cloud so much calmer and easier to train, when all he did was read the SOLDIER’s body language and react to it? “But then that’s all it will ever be – vicious and mean. Desperation is a funny thing, that thing that happens when you find yourself with your back pressed to the wall and have nowhere else to go. That’s what it’s like for dogs when you beat them until they have nothing left but to fight and never stop.”

“So you’re saying Cloud is like a dog?” Zack asked, confused.

Angeal had a way of smiling at Zack – like he was fond but disappointed in the younger HANDLER’s often incorrect answers to his unspoken questions. It was starting to make Zack paranoid – he wasn’t stupid, he knew that the older HANDLER was looking for something specific from him, but he’d yet to figure out what it was or why it made Angeal always seem so disappointed when Zack opened his mouth.

Now, with that half smile the older man said, “I’m saying that Cloud has nothing left but the desperation and the meanness, and the only way to make that go away is to stop beating him.”

“I’m confused.” Zack admitted. So Cloud was a dog only he was a mean dog and yet somehow giving him space was supposed to make him a better SOLDIER? Zack tried to trace that connection in the air in front of him, before he realized that Sephiroth and Cloud had stopped what they were doing long enough to stare at the HANDLER like he’d grown an extra head. Or, at least, they would be if either of them had even the slightest hint of any emotion whatsoever on their face.

Worse, Angeal was just watching him with that sort of half smirk on his face. Zack lowered his arms, opened his mouth to say something, closed it, opened it again, then sighed. “You sir,” he began in a mixture of amusement and annoyance, “are terrible at giving straight answers.”

Angeal just laughed.

 

 

It took just over a week for the bruising on Zack’s neck to finally fade away completely. It took a week for him to learn twenty-six common signs, and a week to learn enough about how to read his SOLDIER for him to begin exercising that control effectively. It happened without Zack’s notice, really. Cloud was becoming easier to control – less prone to violent outbursts, and quicker to respond to Zack’s orders. Still, it came as a surprise on the day, a little over a week past the first disastrous day in the training hall, when Zack offhandedly called Cloud over to him and gestured for the SOLDIER to kneel, only to find himself staring at the creature already on his knees.

Angeal, unlike Zack, wasn’t surprised. “It’s good progress – a sign of a good HANDLER.” He complimented.

“Thanks, Angeal.” Zack smiled. He made the sign for dismiss with his hand and watched as Cloud calmly and with no visible fuss, rose back to his feet and made his way over to Sephiroth, taking a seat inches away from the older SOLDIER, who was resting against the wall. They never touched each other unless they were fighting, Zack noted, but still Cloud and Sephiroth seemed to always gravitate towards each other. It had to be some sort of SOLDIER instinct. Even monsters formed packs, after all.

“He’s made quite the improvement over the last few days. How is he during the evenings? I’ve noticed that you haven’t needed to knock him out.”

“Good.” Zack answered. “He still growls and lashes out at me sometimes.” He explained to the other HANDLER, turning his arm over to show where a long superficial scratch ran from elbow to wrist, courtesy of Cloud’s intense hatred of bath time. Zack tried to be gentle, but wrestling a chained and wet SOLDIER in the bathroom was far from easy, and not nearly as much fun as it would have been if Cloud was a girl. And human. More human than girl actually. Zack was a lady’s man to the heart of him, but Cloud was pretty enough that, had he been human instead of SOLDIER, Zack would definitely be tempted to sway.

He was interrupted from his brief foray into fantasy by Angeal’s calm response of, “Remarkable. He’s not as bad as I thought.” It seemed more a comment to himself than to Zack, but the younger man cocked his head to the side at it.

“Bad seems like an operative term.” Zack joked. “He did try to kill me about a week ago. The bruises may have faded and his attitude improved, but I’m not taking any chances.”

Angeal scoffed, the barest hint of a smile on his face. “I think it says something for the fact that he hasn’t tried to kill you in a week.”

“Small victories.” Zack deadpanned, peering at the older HANDLER suspiciously. Angeal’s sense of humor sometimes made it hard for him to know when the man was being serious and when he was teasing. “Though, he does seem better thanks to your help. You’re a miracle worker!”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Angeal replied, shaking his head. “With SOLDIERs it’s hard to tell what influences their behavior. Cloud could simply be calmer because he doesn’t have any energy pent up inside, or it could be because he feels safe being around an older SOLDIER like Sephiroth, or, perhaps, he’s beginning to trust you. It’s still too early to tell, but I think his improvement is worth celebrating.”

“Sweet! Whatever the reason, Zack Fair is finally getting the hang of handling a SOLDIER!” Zack cheered, bouncing up onto his toes. “I am the beast tamer!”

He missed the way Angeal’s eyes narrowed at that last statement, as the man’s expression was perfectly neutral when Zack turned to face him. “Can I ask you something? Why did you become a HANDLER?”

Zack cocked his head to the side, confused by the question and the change in topic. “To be a hero – to protect people.” He answered honestly. “It’s a silly dream, I know, but ever since I was a kid I wanted to be someone who people could count on and say ‘That’s Zack Fair, he can protect you’, you know? And ShinRa’s SOLDIER HANDLERs protect Midgar and the world. They fight in Wutai, and they send the SOLDIERs to kill monsters. I can’t be as strong as a SOLDIER, but I can use a SOLDIER’s strength to protect the ones I love most in the world.”

Angeal nodded, contemplating. “No, it’s a good dream. Hold onto those feelings and cherish them. If you do, I am sure you will become a good HANDLER with time.”

“I will.” Zack said, glancing over at Cloud. Angeal had told him he had the potential to be good a few days ago, but Zack hadn’t really believed him, not when he’d been worried about surviving with Cloud. Now, it seemed, things might be looking up. It was far too soon to tell, but Zack was hopeful.

“I think Cloud’s ready for a mission.” Angeal said. “Nothing major, but monster patrol missions are always coming up for the outskirts of Midgar. It’s all low level stuff – the security department handles most of the requests but every once in a while HANDLERs take SOLDIERs out for field exercise.”

Zack frowned. Kunsel had gone on his first mission a mere three days after acquiring Essai. Even though the SOLDIER had attacked him two days ago (in the mess with a spork; it’d been comical after Zack had stabbed a dart into the SOLDIER), Essai was still much more docile than Cloud. “I’m not so sure about that. Is it really safe to let him off the sedative, even for a few hours?”

“It has to happen sometime, Zack. Sephiroth and I will be on the mission as well, acting in a support capacity.”

Zack glanced over at Angeal’s SOLDIER. He’d saved Zack’s life once already and proven that, even sedated, he could pull Cloud off of him. But without the sedative, the same hands that had choked could easily become hands that crushed his windpipe and his spine, killing him instantly. There were provisions – protocols and memorized procedures that kept HANDLERs and civilians alive when a SOLDIER lost control – but could Zack really trust any of that to keep him safe?

“Stop worrying.” Angeal commanded, sensing Zack’s discomfort. “Worst case scenario, I use a Phoenix Down on you.”

Zack stared at the older HANDLER. He was kidding, right? Phoenix Downs were old but powerful medicines, used to sustain life after severe injuries, much like an adrenaline shot could keep a heart beating for just that much longer, until medical attention could arrive. Unlike an adrenaline shot, they always worked – unless the patient was already dead. That sounded far from a pleasant situation in Zack’s opinion and he told the man so.

“Besides,” Zack added at the end of his diatribe, “Phoenix Downs are expensive.”

Angeal chuckled. “So are well trained HANDLERs.”

 

 

According to Angeal, there were only three efficient people in all of ShinRa – Anita Collins who was head of the Department of Public Relations (also known as the department of covering up President Shinra’s affairs), Senior Turk Veld who was head of the Department of Internal Affairs (also of the department of covering up President Shinra’s shady dealings), and Lazard Deusericus, the director of the SOLDIER program, who was just plain good at his job.

Still, when three hours after Angeal sent a short email to the director requesting the mission, Zack received a ping on his phone informing him that he had orders for 0700 tomorrow morning to deploy his SOLDIER into the wastes around Midgar for a monster extermination mission, Zack could hardly believe just how quickly the director had made all the arrangements.

“I thought this was going to take a couple of days.” Zack announced, after scanning through the email. “You know, to get some time to see if this whole good behavior thing isn’t a fluke or not.”

“It’s better to do it sooner rather than later.” Angeal replied, not the least bit fazed. In fact, he barely looked up from his own phone, making sure all the proper requisition forms were filed away for tomorrow morning’s mission. “At least this way you’ll only be a nervous wreck for one day instead of three.”

“You’re an optimist, aren’t you?” Zack accused, but he had to admit Angeal had a point. Zack could think of a million different ways this mission could go wrong – Cloud could freak out and kill both him and Angeal, Sephiroth could balk his years of training and kill them all, a monster could take them out in what would surely be the most pathetic way to die in the history of the HANDLER program – and given a few more days, Zack was sure he could increase that number exponentially.

“No, and there’s a huge difference between an optimist and a realist.” Angeal replied. “I’m a realist.”

“Okay, so what’s an optimist?” Zack asked.

“Someone who is crazy enough to believe that they can do impossible things, even when they sometimes get bogged down with little worries.”Angeal answered. “Someone like you.”

Zack shook his head, but he couldn’t help smiling a little. “Man, you have a weird way of looking at the world.”

“All the best people do.”

 

 

“So then I said, ‘hey babe, I got your guns right here.’ You should have seen the look on her face, yo.”

Ilene would have banged her head against her desk in frustration, but that was unprofessional and even when her coworkers weren’t bothering with putting on the airs of professionalism that was expected of a member of the Department of Administrative Affairs, she refused to let herself slip even just a little. It was a boring day in the department – Veld was out in Junon and Tseng was holed up in his office taking care of Veld’s work for the day. Most of the other Turks were out on missions as well, leaving the office mostly deserted save for herself, Reno, and Rude.

Which, honestly, meant it was a little like being at a drunken frat party at a Costa del Sol beach house.

“Reno, only you would find the one girl in Midgar whose fetish was guns.” She quipped back to the red-head currently detailing his latest exploits into hedonism. She was going to leave it at that and go back to attempting to complete her report from her mission yesterday – the keyword being try – before Reno interrupted her again.

“Oh yeah, and it was fantastic, Ilene! You should try it sometime, yo.” A pause, then the brat added, “I’ve got your spare gun by the way.”

Ilene knew she was blushing – being cursed with extremely pale skin meant that all her emotions showed up right on her face. “You didn’t!” She accused. He wouldn’t. Even Reno wouldn’t go that far.

Across the room, Reno leaned back in his chair and shot her his largest and brightest shit-eating grin.

“You asshole.” Ilene said, this time managing to keep her voice calmer. “Next time you can’t keep it in your pants I’m going to shoot it off you, got that?” She told him quietly, her whisper echoing across the otherwise quiet office space.”

Rude commented, “Ouch.” He then went quietly back to his work.

“You and Cissnei both, yo!” Reno laughed, completely unperturbed by Ilene’s threat. “I don’t think you ladies get what a terrible fate that would be.”

“Oh, we know. That’s why we’re threatening you with it, even though it still doesn’t shut you up.”

“You would think I worked in an office full of monkeys.” A new voice said, entering the conversation. All three Turks spun in their chairs to face Tseng. The Wutaian man regarded them all with a raised eyebrow. “Reno, where’s that report you were supposed to turn in yesterday?”

“Almost done, boss man.” Reno replied, for once at least making a half-hearted show at decorum.

Tseng nodded to him. “Good, get it to me by the end of the day or I’m cancelling your missions for the next week.” He added, although everyone knew it was a moot point. Reno might take his own sweet time with work, but he did get it done eventually. Tseng turned his attention to Ilene. “I’ve got a mission for you tomorrow morning.”

Ilene sat up straighter in her seat. “Yes sir.” She accepted the file he handed her with a frown. It was a dossier on one of the SOLDIERs – the subhuman super weapons the Science Department had been cooking up for over two decades now. It was for SOLDIER 265 – moniker Cloud; the one who had killed his HANDLER in what had been politely termed as a training accident.

“You were part of the team that investigated the death of HANDLER Moritz six months ago, correct?” Tseng asked politely. He was always polite. Ilene had never once seen him with any other sort of emotion, not even when the President had declared war on his home nation, Wutai, several years ago.

“Yes sir, I was.” Ilene had not been a rookie by any stretch, but the investigation she had led with two other Turks had still been a shock to her. Even more shocking was Tseng’s orders to bury the truth. The HANDLER’s death was a tragic accident – a sign of poor training and discipline. Only the Turks knew the real story.

HANDLER Hewley and his SOLDIER had been in the same training room – that much was in the report – Sephiroth had begun to intervene, but HANDLER Hewley had ordered him away, allowing 265 to rip his HANDLER’s throat out with his teeth. In a way, it was Hewley who had killed Moritz.

There was another file in Tseng’s hand, which he handed to Ilene then. Another dossier. This time it was for someone Ilene knew, however indirectly. SOLDIER HANDLER Zack Fair had been one of her father’s favorite students at ShinRa Military Academy, and so she’d spent many a family dinner listening to him speak fondly of his students, especially Zack. Now that her younger sister Elena was at the Academy though, all talk had turned to how proud everyone was of her for getting accepted and for continuing to be the top of her class.

Which was fine with Ilene, of course – she’d never say it to Elena, but she was proud of her baby sister.

Tseng gave her a few moments to flip through the files before he said, “At o-seven-hundred tomorrow morning, Zack Fair is taking his SOLDIER Cloud into the field for his first mission. Their supervisor is none other than Angeal Hewley.”

Realization dawned on Ilene, a cold sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she considered the worst case scenario. “Sir, you don’t honestly believe—“

Tseng shook his head. “Angeal has his reasons for everything he does. That is what concerns me. I believe he may attempt to manipulate HANDLER Fair to ends that may not be in the best interest of the company. However, it is still too early to say. I’d like for you to replace their pilot tomorrow morning. Observe them. See if you can’t get any idea as to what Angeal may be planning, and if our young HANDLER is in any danger from him.”

Ilene nodded and glanced back down at the picture on the dossier. Eighteen years old, with a friendly, magnetic smile and a handsome face. Just a baby really, even though he was only six years younger than her. He wasn’t even that much older than the SOLDIER – vicious monster – that he was attempting to train. “I’ll see what I can do, sir.” She told her superior honestly. It was her job, sometimes, to do distasteful things, but she wasn’t going to let HANDLER Hewley get away with murder again.

 

 

Zack spent most of the night watching the digital clock on his bedside tick the minutes away and listening to Cloud’s slow, even breathing. He must have dozed off, at some point, because he woke and it was a quarter until five, and he was tired. It wasn’t worth trying to go back to sleep so Zack rolled out of his bed reluctantly and dragged himself into the shower. This was it. This was the day Zack proved to himself that he could do this – he could be a SOLDIER HANDLER.

“Come on, Zack, you’ve got this!” He told his reflection, mentally preparing himself for the day. He checked his uniform pockets and double checked, just as he had the first day of being a HANDLER, making sure that he had darts and sundries available should he need him. Then he checked Cloud’s vitamins – no sedative, he reminded himself as he opened a sterile needle and filled the syringe with the greenish-orange liquid that was Cloud’s only source of nutrition aside from the mako his body currently fed on. That finished, he made coffee and the sat in the living room, again watching the clock on the wall slowly inch its way towards six-thirty am. He waited until the last possible moment to get Cloud, being sure to use extra caution around the beast this morning since he’d be waking up free from the sedative for the first time since long before Zack got him. Angeal might have had faith in the monster’s ability to control himself, but Zack, impressed by Angeal’s miracles though he was, would still reserve his judgment.

But Cloud was calm, regarding Zack with piercing blue eyes as the HANDLER injected the vitamins into his arm and then helped the SOLDIER change clothing. Today, Zack realized with some surprise, would be the first day Cloud would wear shoes and a jacket. He helped the SOLDIER into the shoes but held onto the jacket – he’d wait until he was in the relative safety of Angeal and Sephiroth’s company before he took Cloud’s cuffs off.

_You’re not a coward for having caution._  Zack mentally reminded himself as he gathered up the last of their gear and, leading Cloud by his arm, set off towards the elevator to the helipad.  _He’s a monster, even if he is a pretty one._

Angeal and Sephiroth were already waiting for them when Zack and Cloud stepped off the elevator onto the helipad. The latter was dressed in dark pants and long black boots, his sword, the infamous Masamune, slung in a harness across his back, over a fitted trench coat that brushed the back of his knees. Next to Angeal’s more mundane uniform, Sephiroth looked like the Demon ShinRa claimed he was – possessed and as deadly as he was beautiful.

Zack released Cloud and handed him his jacket, watching as the SOLDIER flung it over his shoulders before immediately taking off towards the wall where Sephiroth was waiting. He crouched down beside the older SOLDIER and eyed the helipad with disdain.

“Ready for your first mission?” Angeal asked by way of greeting as the four waited for their pilot to arrive.

Zack grinned, washing away any trace of worry or doubt from his face. “As ready as I’ll ever be!” He admitted cheerfully.

Angeal frowned at him, but didn’t get the chance to reply as the elevator door opened again and a young blond haired woman in the dark blue business suit of the Turks stepped out onto the Helipad. Zack found himself staring at her. She was quite lovely, after all, sharply dressed with her heart shaped face framed by short straight blond bangs and an almost comically serious expression on her face, even more intense than Angeal’s look usually was. A girl like that should definitely be smiling, Zack thought to himself. She’s too pretty to frown.

The woman nodded to both of them as she approached, a nod which Angeal returned with a reply, “It’s nice seeing you again, Ilene. Did Tseng send you to spy on us?”

The woman – Ilene – didn’t even blink. “Tseng has more important things to worry about than the petty errands of two SOLDIER-HANDLER pairs, even if you happen to be one of them, HANDLER Hewley.” Ilene replied, in a tone so cold it left goosebumps on Zack’s arms. “But if you must know, yes I have been assigned as your pilot. There is a soiree in Junon today and all of ShinRa’s eligible military helicopter pilots are currently either assigned to the President’s division or on leave. I have been asked to take over for your mission today.”

“I see.” Angeal replied, but there was a suspicious undercurrent there, as if he didn’t fully believe Ilene’s stated reason for being there. Still, that seemed to be the end of that conversation as Angeal did one last check of their supplies before everyone loaded into the helicopter. Ilene didn’t bother much with conversation, and rebuffed Zack’s attempts to talk to her as they rose up over the great city of Midgar. Eventually, Zack gave up and sat back, taking in the view.

From above, the scorched earth that surrounded the city looked like a parched desert; devoid of much else other than the hardy brown bushes or cactuses that bloomed here and there. The eco-terrorist organization Avalanche claimed that the dead earth, plagued by monsters and beasts corrupted, was the result of intentional negligence on the behalf of ShinRa; a sign that the company was, despite the overwhelming insistence of ShinRa’s own scientists and the media, slowly destroying life on the planet. Zack wasn’t sure whether he believed that or not but regardless of the situation, he was forced to admit that the desolation of the earth was disheartening. It made him homesick for the humid jungles of his home in Gongaga.

They touched down on a plateau not far north of the city, near where traveler’s reports from Kalm claimed a nest of Kalm Fangs had been harassing vehicles. It wasn’t much of a hike from the landing site – even with Ilene trailing along beside them, much to Angeal’s obvious displeasure. The nest was larger than the intelligence suggested, consisting of four adults and a litter of pups. Zack was kind of disappointed that they had to get rid of the pups too, since they were actually pretty cute from a distance – all oversized paws and lolling tongues as they wrestled under the careful eye of their mother.

Cloud, on the other hand, had no such misplaced compassion for the monsters that had been menacing the area. During the hike he’d practically vibrated with pent up energy, loping forward only to return when Zack called him back before starting forward again. Likewise he fought with all the aggressive eagerness of the very monsters they’d been sent to annihilate. There’d been no need for Angeal and Sephiroth’s help as Cloud sliced through the Fangs like it was child’s play.

After the fight, Zack gave him a bit more freedom as he and Sephiroth followed behind Ilene, Angeal, and Zack. Once the bloodlust had worn off, Cloud did what he always did and clung to Sephiroth’s side. Zack didn’t see a problem with it. The two were close, that was all.

Zack was deep in conversation with Angeal, not paying any attention at all to his surroundings, as he was sometimes prone to do, when he felt a heavy weight barrel into him, knocking him face first into the dirt. Almost as soon as whatever it was attacked, it was gone and with a loud groan Zack rolled over to see Sephiroth holding Cloud in an arm lock while Angeal was taking his handcuffs out of his vest.

“What the hell, Cloud?” Zack asked rhetorically. “Again man? Not cool.” In truth Zack was furious, but he tried to keep his tone light for the sake of a visibly startled Ilene and for Angeal’s sake. Again? Cloud had tried for a third one. Would the attacking never stop?

“Are you all right, Zack?” Ilene asked, concern written on her face.

“I’m fine.” Zack replied. He rolled up to his feet and clapped his hands together. “See? No harm done. Cloud didn’t even have a chance to get me. Thanks Sephiroth!”

“If you’re sure…” Ilene replied. “That could have ended very badly. I thought it was the Moritz incident all over again.”

“Ilene.” Angeal began, having finished administering a sedative and placing Cloud in shackles again. “I would not have let anything happen to Zack.”

“You say that now.” Ilene began, but she didn’t finish her thought.

Angeal scowled at her. “Let’s get back to the transport. We should get Cloud back to Midgar so we can sort out why this keeps happening.

 

 

Back at Zack’s apartment Angeal finally broke the silence between them. “We need to find out why Cloud keeps attacking you.”

  
Zack sighed. “We do but I have no idea how.”

Rather than reply, Angeal grabbed a pair of SOLDIER’s cuffs from his belt while Sephiroth set Cloud gently on the bed. Angeal made quick work of binding the SOLDIER before reaching for the lock that bound Cloud’s muzzle. “I need the key to this.” Angeal said, knowing Zack had a copy of it.

“What? No way!” Zack protested, leaning back against the doorway to his room and watching the three inside. “He just tried to kill me and you want to unmuzzle that thing?”

Angeal huffed in annoyance. “First off, he’s not a thing. Second, there may be something he doesn’t feel comfortable signing but he might talk about it. He  _can_  speak. Don’t worry; Seph will be here the whole time.”

Zack regarded the older HANDLER for a long moment, then glanced dubiously at Sephiroth, who was watching him with those wide unblinking cat eyes. “Fine.” He huffed, and pushed off the wall to go find the key to Cloud’s muzzle.

The SOLDIER was already beginning to stir when Zack returned and turned the key over to Angeal who used it to gently remove the cage from the SOLDIER’s face. The moment the cage was removed the SOLDIER blinked languidly, mako blue eyes half closed as he slowly came out of his daze. For a brief moment he pulled against his bonds before relaxing again, working his jaw back and forth as unused muscles stretched.

Zack watched as Angeal pulled a ration bar out of one of the many pockets on a HANDLER’s uniform. He tore into the packaging and broke off a small piece before pressing it gently to Cloud’s lips. To Zack’s surprise, the SOLDIER took the piece gamely, chewing shortly before swallowing. Angeal repeated the process until Cloud had eaten the whole bar.

“Thank.” Cloud said when he’d swallowed the last of it. The SOLDIER’s voice was hoarse and low, soft and surprisingly deep for his effeminate appearance. It cracked slightly on the end of the word, a reminder that this SOLDIER was an adolescent – only fifteen years old.

“So you do remember your manners.” Angeal replied with a grin, reaching out to ruffle Cloud’s hair. The SOLDIER growled at him, the same low growl that had become so familiar to Zack, and Angeal pulled his hand away, nonplussed by the reaction. “Why do you keep attacking Zack?” He asked. “Your new HANDLER isn’t like your old one.”

Cloud shook his head. “Hurt me.” He answered.

It was like a bomb had been dropped in the room. First Sephiroth tensed up, one hand going straight to Cloud’s shoulder while the other reached for his nonexistent Masamune. Then Angeal whirled on Zack, face set in a grim expression. “What did you do?” Angeal asked lowly.

Zack held up his hands in protest. Why did Cloud say that? The worst Zack had done to him was give him a bath or lock him away in his cage when he misbehaved. He hadn’t done anything really, unless the SOLDIER counted bath time as pain? But that didn’t make any sense to Zack whatsoever.  “Nothing!” He replied confused.

“You must have done something.” Angeal returned.

“I didn’t!”  Zack protested.

“Cloud said you hurt him …”

“You’re taking his side on this?”

“… And he doesn’t lie.” Angeal finished quietly.

“He’s a SOLDIER; how do you know if he’s lying or not?” Zack was at the point of yelling now, frustrated as he was.

“What did you do to him?”

“I told you I didn’t do anything!” Their voices had risen to the point where Zack was concerned that his neighbors would be able to hear them.

Angeal’s next question was quiet and low, “Did you rape him?”

“NO!” Zack protested, sickened at the very idea.  “And if you think so little of me then we’re done here.”

Zack turned and left the apartment, leaving Angeal, the two SOLDIERs, and Angeal’s questions behind, heading someplace where he could get away and do some thinking and some squats. Let Angeal deal with all this for a while.

 

 

Angeal found Zack in one of the private gyms on the SOLDIER floor, engaged in squats with his back to the door. He slipped in and waited for the younger HANDLER to notice him. He owed Zack an apology. Cloud struggled with his words – Angeal knew that, but he’d forgotten just how hard it was for Cloud to articulate his thoughts. He’d just assumed, and as Cloud had eventually been able to explain, he’d assumed wrong.

“What do you want?” Zack asked, turning to face Angeal. Bitterness colored his tone and he crossed his arms in a guarded, closed position.

“I owe you an apology.” Angeal stated, best to get to heart of the matter. “I shouldn’t have snapped and I shouldn’t have assumed to the worst.”

“Apology accepted.” Zack replied, but he sounded begrudging. Angeal guessed he hadn’t forgiven him yet. “If you’re here, who’s looking after the SOLDIERs?”

“Sephiroth is with Cloud. He’ll keep Cloud calm while we’re here.” Angeal answered.

“But what about Sephiroth? Is it safe to leave him alone? I heard he turns violent when you’re not around.”

Angeal sighed. That  _was_  the rumor going around. “He hates the labs.” Angeal answered simply. I have to leave him there when I’m called away for duty that doesn’t require him, but he hates it so much he becomes violent. Sephiroth’s fine when he’s left alone otherwise. Yes he has some odd quirks of his own, but he’s loyal to a fault – to me, to other SOLDIERS. He’ll take care of Cloud.”

Zack nodded. That made sense to him, given what he’d seen of the older SOLDIER.

“I didn’t come here to talk about me or Sephiroth.” Angeal continued. “I came to talk about Cloud.”

“I really didn’t hurt him.” Zack began. “I wouldn’t do anything like that to him. I definitely didn’t rape him. He’s not even human anymore and he couldn’t consent anyway. Besides, I’m straight and it’s wrong.”

“I know.” Angeal interrupted. “Like I said, I was wrong. Cloud explained everything.” He paused for a long moment, carefully considering his next few sentences. This was too important for misunderstandings. “Have you ever wondered why Cloud killed his last HANDLER?”

Zack shrugged, “I figured it was the same reason most HANDLERs get killed – he dropped his guard and was attacked by his SOLDIER.”

“Well, yes, that did happen, but Cloud was considered nearly fully trained and hadn’t attempted to take his HANDLER’s life before then. The attack was unusual and came seemingly out of nowhere. That’s why they tried to put Cloud down before I stepped in and stopped them.” Angeal waited but Zack just stared at him so he continued. “I know why Cloud killed Moritz. Moritz was hurting him.”

“Hurting him how?” Zack asked, morbidly curious about Angeal’s implications.

Angeal sighed and took a seat on the ground. Zack joined him. They sat facing across from each other on the gym mat. “Moritz was a bully at times. Even to other HANDLERs he was pushy and would insult other HANDLERs unless they did what he wanted them to do. ShinRa, however, saw him as a potential leader and gave him Cloud two years ago. Cloud is supposed to be the second strongest SOLDIER in the program aside from Sephiroth when he reaches maturity, but he’s always had a more passive personality than most SOLDIERs. He wasn’t as violent as he is now, nor as feral.

“It started almost immediately after Cloud was given to Moritz. He’d become more agitated when he was left alone, he wouldn’t listen to Moritz like he used to and the longer it went on the worse it got. One day Sephiroth and I were walking past the training rooms and we saw Moritz hit Cloud. Not just hit him but beat him. It wasn’t until later that we found out Moritz was beating him nearly every day he was sedated, and Cloud could barely fight back – the sedatives made him too weak to stand up to a much larger person like Moritz and the bruises healed too quickly for anyone to really notice what was going on.”

“So when you said Cloud was like a beaten dog you meant it literally?” Zack asked.

“I did.” Angeal replied. “He’s known too much violence so he acts with too much violence. Fighting Sephiroth helps him. I think he gets his aggression and rage out that way but there’s obviously been a lot of damage done to him.

“I informed Lazard about the abuse as soon as I first noticed it. I warned it was making him unstable but Cloud was making progress under Moritz so they ignored it. It was revolting, how bad the bruises must have been to remain long enough for me to see them.” Angeal’s expression was anguished and he refused to meet Zack’s eyes.

Zack’s stomach revolted in disgust. “That’s sickening! How could anyone do that to a SOLDIER? And he’s still just a kid, but I’m not anything like that asshole though. I’m not going to hurt Cloud now or ever.” He paused in his rant, calming enough to say, “I just wish I knew how to make Cloud understand that.”

“Tell him.” Angeal replied. “Be honest when we return and then spend a few weeks proving it until he trusts you. If you do that I think you’ll become a better HANDLER.”

Zack nodded and silence fell, warm but soft between them. They both had plenty to think about.

 

 

Cloud was awake and fully alert when Angeal and Zack returned to Zack’s apartment. He was still chained but the muzzle was back in place as he lay nestled in Sephiroth’s arms in what Zack could only call a cuddle. He’d never seen the two SOLDIERs so close together before, but Cloud fit there and only blinked languidly at Zack when he entered, obviously relaxed and feeling safe in Sephiroth’s arms.

Zack knelt by the bed, reaching out to place one hand on Cloud’s arm. Cloud stared at him warily but otherwise didn’t move. “I promise I won’t ever hurt you.” He said as calmly and confidently as he could. “Not even in training, not when I can help it. I even promise to be gentler during bath time. If I need to punish you I’ll find some other way to do it. I won’t hurt you like your last HANDLER did.” He hoped Cloud understood and though maybe he was imagining it he thought he saw the SOLDIER’s face relax even more. “I think it’s time we got to sleep though. How would you like to sleep in my bed tonight?”

The SOLDIER’s eyes widened at that and he shook his head hard. Zack just chuckled. “It’s all right. It was just a suggestion. Here, why don’t we get you settled down and call it an early night?”

He didn’t wait for Cloud to reply, just asked Sephiroth to pick Cloud up and bring him over to his cage where Sephiroth set him on the bench and Zack unlocked his shackles. He grabbed an extra pillow out of the closet and one of his many blankets piled up on his bed and set them just inside the door before closing it up. After turning out the lights, Zack escorted Angeal and Sephiroth into his living room.

“You did well today.” Angeal complimented. Sephiroth nodded in agreement. “I’m proud of you for becoming a better HANDLER than your peers and for making that promise to Cloud.”

Zack nodded. “Thanks, it means a lot coming from you.”

Still, something bothered him about that statement as he bid the older pair good night. He sat up for several hours thinking about it and sipping on coffee before it dawned on him.

He shouldn’t aim to be a better HANDLER to Cloud. Cloud didn’t need a HANDLER like Moritz who was good but a terrible person. Cloud needed a better person even if they weren’t a better HANDLER. So Zack shouldn’t aim to be a better HANDLER; he should just aim to be a better person instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may get revised sometime in the future but for now I'd rather just move on and advance the plot along so we can get to the fun parts. Thanks for all the lovely reviews wishing me well -- you guys are the best.


	5. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Kiddos. This is it. If all goes the way it's supposed to I return to school next week. I was working on my Masters degree last year before, as a result of my relationship, I tried to commit suicide. I was forced to leave school because of it. I've spent the last year recovering and part of that, of course, has been getting my writing spirit back, something I've loved very much (especially you, kind reviewers). Now, however, it's time to go back to school and finish my stupid thesis. I'll still be writing, but mostly on my thesis, so while there may be updates I am officially going to be on hiatus. I need the rest of the year to focus on my thesis and focus on looking for a job. I'll see you all (officially) in January.
> 
> I apologize for the short chapter, but I wanted to leave you guys with something before I went on hiatus. If you want to follow personal updates among other random gibberish, check out my [personal tumblr](http://lockea.tumblr.com). As always I update early and answer asks at my writing tumblr, [StorytellerLockea](http://storytellerlockea.tumblr.com). I'm always up for a conversation, meme, or game so hit me up.
> 
> EDIT: I have, as of 8/30/15, added another 1500 words to this chapter. The reason having to do with how the dice fell between chapters, as this scene just didn't fit with the next chapter. I love you all, you're great, and I can't wait for you to see what happens next. ^_~

Two months passed. Zack learned over a hundred new signs and could even hold a stilting, slow conversation with Sephiroth. The SOLDIER was surprisingly wry and had a dry sense of humor. Cloud was much calmer after Zack’s promise and had stopped trying to kill him every other day. Of course, Zack kept his end of the bargain and never hurt Cloud. Not for discipline, not in training, and certainly not for fun. Even bath time had improved. Cloud  _hated_  baths with a passion but had calmed considerably now that Zack let him bath unchained. Missions turned into routine and Zack even went out unsupervised with Cloud, usually to the slums or the area surrounding Midgar to exterminate monsters. All in all, things were beginning to look up.

All except the bimonthly lab visits. Zack had gone with Cloud during the first one, barely a week after their first visit, and had stayed with him throughout. Cloud was distressed and nothing Zack could say or do would get him to calm down until the drugs forced him under. He felt helpless standing there watching as lab techs strapped Cloud to a cold steel operating table and forced the tube up through his nose and down into his stomach. It was like watching a snake disappear. Then they started the feeding, which took several hours as they fed a small amount, then waited for Cloud to digest it, then fed some more over and over again. All to keep stress off of Cloud’s debilitated gastro intestinal system.

It struck Zack as a terrible way to live, and the fact that Cloud had already been on that diet for several months didn’t make things any better. So, two months after he acquired Cloud, Zack went to the director of SOLDIER with a request.

“You want permission to remove the muzzle?” Lazard Deusericus asked, surprised by the request.

“Yes.” Zack replied. “At least for meals. He gets weak and lethargic at the end of the two week period and its effecting his performance. He takes longer to heal and he has less energy and focus.”

Lazard nodded, as if he’d expected as much. “That is truly a shame, but what makes you think he’s not a danger to you any longer? He’s the type of SOLDIER that bites the hand that feeds him, after all.”

“Cloud and I talked about it.” Zack said simply, as if that was all there was too it.

“You talked?” Now Lazard was confused.

“Yes – well no we signed using Angeal’s and Sephiroth’s sign language.” Or, Zack had signed awkwardly and Cloud kept losing interest in the conversation in favor of playing with a puzzle cube Zack had bought him. So Zack really wasn’t sure if Cloud had understood what Zack was asking of him or if he’d just nodded yes to get Zack to leave him alone. It was fifty-fifty with Cloud sometimes.

“I see. Well, I trust yours and Hewley’s judgment on this. If you two believe Cloud has calmed enough to remove the muzzle then I will allow it on one condition.”

“What condition?” Zack asked.

“That he completes his mission this afternoon successfully without harming you or anyone but AVALANCHE members.”

“Right. Sounds reasonable.”

“Good. Now if we’re done, let’s return to the mission briefing.” Lazard said. “You’ll be acting solo on this mission with back up from the Turks. Three senior Turks will be covering intel and infiltration. Your job is get Cloud in where the AVALANCHE are and let him loose.”

“Sounds simple enough.” Zack replied confidently.

Lazard chuckled. “Don’t underestimate AVALANCHE. Rumor has it they’re experimenting – creating SOLDIERs of their own, but currently the Turks can neither confirm nor deny those rumors.”

“Right. So keep a look out for those. Anything else I need to know?” Zack asked.

“These SOLDIERs may be like ours; deadly monsters incapable of higher cognitive functions. You should use caution if happen to engage with one. Don’t count on Cloud to protect you from them.”

Zack already knew that he couldn’t rely on Cloud for that. Cloud was pretty selfish and narrow minded. He focused too much on what was ahead of him and not enough on his surroundings. It was a habit Angeal and Zack were trying to break him of.

“I know. I’ll be sure to take extra precautions.”

“Good, then that’s all. You’re dismissed. Mission begins at 2000 hours.”

 

“All right! Our mission is to take out the AVALANCHE safe house. Specifically we’re targeting a former ShinRa scientist named Fuhito.” The redheaded Turk was saying over the mics in the helicopter headsets. He’d introduced himself on the Launch pad as Reno. The other redhead, a woman, was Cissnei, and the bald guy flying the helicopter was Rude. They were Zack’s support.

“Why are we going after him?” Zack asked. Lazard had only told him he was to take out the safe house.

“He stole technology from ShinRa and has been conducting illegal experiments on the slum residents.” Cissnei answered.

“He’s a no good sleaze ball, kind of like Hojo, but if these monsters of his can do what they’re rumored to do then we might need more backup than a single First, yo.”

“Don’t worry. Leave the heavy lifting to Cloud and I. We’ve got this.” Zack replied confidently. He’d seen just what Cloud could do and they weren’t likely to land in any trouble, monsters or otherwise.

“So you say, yo. We’re touching down in sector eight in five. The safe house is located in the new builds off the plate construction area. Be careful ‘cause a fall like that’ll land you in the slums, if it don’t kill you first yo.“

"Gotcha.” Zack wasn’t worried. This was just another routine mission for him and Cloud. Take out some AVALANCHE terrorists, don’t fall off the plate, and be back to Zack’s apartment in time for a very special dinner tonight.

They landed far enough away from the target area so as not to alert AVALANCHE to their presences. Cloud loped on ahead of them, eager for a fight and Zack let him merely because calling out in this deserted wasteland of the construction zone would draw attention to them. Attention they didn’t need. Besides, Cloud had enough discipline now that he wouldn’t leave Zack’s line of sight.

The Turks, on the other hand, did not share Zack’s confidence. “You sure this is safe?” Cissnei asked, gesturing to where Cloud was waiting at an intersection, impatience obvious in his stance as he waited for the humans to catch up with him.

“Yeah, it’s fine. He won’t run off without me. Got that lesson through his thick skull at least.” Zack was mostly joking, but it was a lesson that had taken Cloud a while. He wanted to run off and do things on his own. Being stuck with a Handler wasn’t what Cloud wanted, but since Cloud didn’t think before he acted, a Handler was what he needed.

Cissnei gave the SOLDIER a dubious look. “I don’t know. I’m surprised how young he is though. He’s just a baby isn’t he?”

Zack shrugged, “Yeah, he’s an adolescent but he’s older than some of the other SOLDIERs in the program who are going out on missions. I wouldn’t say he’s a baby though.”

“How old is he?”

“Maybe thereabout sixteen now. I’d have to check his records.”

“Sixteen?!” This seemed to distress Cissnei.

“Hey, cut the chatter yo, we’re getting close. Expect boggies once we turn the corner.” Reno called, and instantly they sprang to attention. Zack drew the broadsword he carried out of the sheath on his back and Cissnei pulled one of her oversized shuriken out. Reno drew his EMR out and Rude… well Rude had his fists and a pistol at his side if he needed it.

“Cloud, keep close to me.” Zack called, and the SOLDIER instantly returned to his side as the Turks swung the corner first. They had the element of surprise on their hands but not for long.

The safe house was an empty apartment complex, grey brick steel and concrete with vacant holes for windows. The construction zone was abandoned, first due to a monster infestation and then when AVALANCHE moved into the area and took over, driving workers out and creating a general, albeit far from subtle, nuisance of themselves.

_Any watchers?_  Zack signed to Cloud, trusting the SOLDIER’s keen eyes to keep a lookout of the area

_One. Upper window. Not watching._  Zack glanced up, searching for the window Cloud was indicating. Sure enough, the dark haired AVALANCHE sentry was gazing more towards the tower than towards them.

_Good enough. Follow the Turks._

Reno had the lock cut when they caught up to the Turks. The door’s main lock was still intact. Reno gave them a brief nod before he took a step back and with a loud crash kicked the door in. That would surely alert the sentries. So much for the element of surprise. Zack took a step backwards and let Cloud past wordlessly just as a group of armored terrorists turned the corner and took aim. Cissnei and Reno ducked back behind the cover of the wall while Rude returned fire before taking cover. Cloud had no such concern for the guns, rushing forward heedless of the open fire, cutting a bloody swath through the crowd.

Zack gestured for them to follow. Room after room they secured as Cloud, nearly impenetrable due to his SOLDIER skill, took down the terrorists with ease.

“There’s two basement levels and fifteen floors above us. Intel says the upper floors aren’t in use for much but you and the SOLDIER need to check the basement levels.” Reno ordered once they’d secured the first floor. “If Fuhito’s here, he’s downstairs, yo.”

“Gotcha.” Zack replied but Cloud was already taking off for the stairwell and Zack rushed to keep up with the eager SOLDIER. They dispatched the AVALANCHE on the stairs and cleared the first sub level, which contained nothing more than makeshift residences, marked by bare mattresses on a floor littered with cigarette butts and empty bottles. AVALANCHE wasn’t known for their discipline, especially not their grunts, but their leadership was top tier. Leaders like this Fuhito guy were the reason AVALANCHE was even a threat at all.

They were turning back to the stairwell when Cloud froze suddenly, a growl forming deep in his throat as he pulled his sword back out of its sheath and readied a stance. Zack followed his lead and pulled his sword as well while checking his bracers. One heal and two elemental materia should hold out against whatever had Cloud up in arms.

Just as soon as Zack had readied himself he saw what had Cloud alarmed. Two men dressed in uniforms similar to the SOLDIERs’ black jumpsuits advanced slowly through the corridor. They carried broadswords similar to Cloud’s own. Zack knew right away who they were; there was something feral about their appearance – the way they hunched down and walked balanced towards the toes was far to reminiscent of the way Cloud walked to be mere coincidence. So these were Fuhito’s SOLDIERs.

They didn’t wait for an invitation, instantly launching themselves at Cloud who, with a deep growl, parried their blows. Zack fell back and kept an eye should one of the SOLDIER-lookalikes decide to come after him, but focused on supporting Cloud with his materia. Cloud was a blur of motion, parrying and blocking blow after blow at a speed that reminded Zack of Cloud’s spars with Sephiroth. Those were unarmed battles but now watching the lookalikes match speed with Cloud had Zack worried.

Cloud managed to dispatch one of the SOLDIERs, sending the being unconscious into the wall and leaving a crack in the drywall, all without missing a beat. The other lookalike, however, took the disablement of his buddy as a cue to change the flow of the battle. He knocked Cloud back and took the moment it took Cloud to regain his stance to launch himself at Zack. Zack barely brought his sword up in time to block the incoming blow and cast off a quick fire spell to gain much needed distance between himself and the lookalike, but it barely slowed him down.

“Cloud!” Zack shouted, panicked as the lookalike bore back down on him. Cloud, however, was disoriented from being tossed across the room. He shook his head to clear it but his slowed reactions were all it took for the lookalike to land a solid blow against Zack, a gash across his left side that would have cut him in two had Zack not rolled at the last second. The lookalike spun and bore down on him, and once again Zack wondered if this was where he died. He fumbled for the SOLDIER sedatives in his pocket as a last ditch effort to save himself. But the final blow never came.

Zack felt more than saw the result. He stared up at Cloud, standing over the top of him with one hand wrapped around the neck of the lookalike, who’s head was bent at an awkward angle. Cloud had snapped his neck. He’d saved Zack’s life and now when Zack was obviously at his weakest all the SOLDIER did was drop the corpse and kneel down next to him, gabbing the heal materia from his bracer. Zack felt the cool glow of materia healing wash over him, the bleeding in his side slowed then halted completely.

“Don’t Cloud,” Zack said, placing his hand over the SOLDIER’s. Cloud growled and pulled away, the materia going dark in his hand. “You’ll waste all your energy too quickly. Give it back please.” He held out his hand and Cloud placed the materia in it. “Well.” Zack tried to lighten the mood. “At least we’ve confirmed the existence of those SOLDIERs Lazard was so concerned about.”

 

“Good job out there today!” Cissnei cheered when they returned to the ShinRa building after the mission.

“Yeah not half bad for a rookie, yo. You’re all right Fair.” Reno clapped him on the back as he walked past, ignoring the way Cloud growled at the contact between his HANDLER and the Turk.

“Thanks. You’re not half bad yourself.” Zack returned genuinely. He did genuinely like this group of Turks. They were much friendlier than some of the others Zack had come across, like the ones who supervised the training rooms or that one Turk, Ilene.

“We’re going to get drinks.” Cissnei said. “It’s a bit of a Turk tradition. Why don’t you come along? We’re going to the Goblin Bar in Wall Market.”

“Gonna harass Ilene’s baby sis.” Reno added. Rude nodded in affirmation but the silent Turk had nothing to add.

“Nah.” Drinks sounded nice, but Zack had a promise to keep. “Maybe next time. I got something to take care of with Cloud here.”

Reno shrugged. “Your loss, yo. See ya next time!”

Zack waved them off and led Cloud back into the building, making a bee line for the apartment. The Turks would debrief now and Zack wasn’t expected for his own debriefing until the morning, leaving him with all evening to treat Cloud to his first real meal in over eight months.

Zack was looking forward to the meal. He and Cloud had made such good progress over the last couple of months and, really, Cloud deserved this.Deep down inside Cloud, Zack was becoming more and more sure laid a heart that was gentle and warm. Cloud wasn’t a vicious monster, despite his terrifying competence when it came to the battle arts, no more than Sephiroth – calm, cool, dry humored Sephiroth – was a monster.

Zack couldn’t cook, so he ordered out for food from a place in sector four that cooked amazing Gongagan favorites of his. Outside of his mom’s cooking, this place made the best fried touch-me frog legs in the world. Zack loved it and he hoped Cloud would too. For dessert he’d gone the Nibelheim route and ordered a type of spiced pumpkin bread with a name Zack couldn’t pronounce but he remembered that Cloud was from that town so he figured it might be a nice treat.

Cloud was eager enough for the food. He was practically vibrating in his seat when Zack opened the door to accept the delivery from the secretary who brought it up from the first floor. Zack set the food on the table before going to the safe to retrieve the key for Cloud’s muzzle. “Eat slowly.” Zack ordered as he undid the metal cage and set it on the kitchen counter. He grabbed a pair of silverware for himself and one for Cloud before sitting down, but Cloud was already digging into the fried frog legs, barely pausing to spit the bones out as he stripped each leg clean.

“Hey, save some of that for me!” Zack reached over and grabbed the box away from Cloud, who growled at him, teeth bared, but made no move to take the food back. It was just for show, as it seemed Cloud growled at everything like it was an ingrained response. Instead the SOLDIER reached for the next item in the plastic bag, a carton of one of Zack’s other favorite dishes, jambalaya. The dish was made up of sausages, chicken, and seafood from the ocean surrounding the Gongaga area. There were a couple other foods in the bag, mostly seafood that was hard to get a hold of in Midgar itself and of course a Gongaga staple; grits.

Cloud ate all the food ravenously, devouring far more than Zack considered healthy, but he didn’t have the heart (or the required patience) to take Cloud’s meal away from him and keep him from eating himself into a coma. Some things Cloud was going to have to learn on his own. Besides, SOLDIERs had huge appetites.

They finished all the food, no leftovers, and Zack brought out the pumpkin bread. Cloud ate that just as vigorously, at least the first too slices, and then the rich food became too much and he slowed down. Zack glanced up from where he was eating his own food when he noticed Cloud set down his treat. “Something wrong, Spikey?” He asked as Cloud sunk his head against the table with a loud groan.

“Hurts.” Cloud managed the single word, his voice raspy from disuse.

“All right bud, you probably just ate too much. It happens sometime. Lie down for a while, you’ll feel better.” Zack encouraged. He took Cloud gently by the arm and led the drowsy SOLDIER to the bedroom. Zack debated briefly between laying Cloud down in the cage or letting him have his bed, but the cage was so uncomfortable – no soft surfaces and barely any comforts aside from the pillow and blankets Zack had put in there just for Cloud’s sake. The decision was made for him when Cloud plopped down on the bed face first, groaning loudly.

Zack could barely hold back a snort of laughter. “Okay bud, you can have the bed, but only for a nap.” He warned the SOLDIER. Then, just because Cloud could still be unpredictable at times, he pulled a pair of cuffs and Cloud’s sedative out of his jacket pocket, grateful when Cloud didn’t resist being chained up or sedated. He helped the SOLDIER move into a better position on the bed before leaving him to rest up.

Cloud slept for the rest of the evening, while Zack took the opportunity to play video games, something he didn’t do when Cloud was awake and so hadn’t done for a while now. He preferred watching TV with his SOLDIER, something both he and Cloud could enjoy and gave them a chance to bond, especially when Cloud was left weak from a lack of food. That wouldn’t be happening any longer, Zack was pleased to realize. Cloud would be able to eat every day and keep up his strength as a SOLDIER. No more of this broken bones taking longer to heal nonsense. No more lethargy that left Zack terrified for his SOLDIER’s sake.

Cloud was still sleeping heavily when Zack finally retired for the evening. He didn’t have the heart to wake the sleeping SOLDIER so Zack merely climbed into bed on the other side. What was the harm of sharing his bed with Cloud anyway? The SOLDIER was fast asleep and likely would be until morning. He grabbed Cloud’s muzzle from the kitchen and slipped it on the SOLDIER, fastening the buckles before lying down to sleep.

 

Zack woke to struggling beside him. He rolled over to find Cloud was shifting underneath the blankets, struggling against the bonds that held him. His eyes were wide, glowing blue filling the dark as he fought. "Calm down." Zack ordered, sitting up and placing one hand on Cloud's shoulder. He wondered what could have brought this on. What could have caused Cloud to freak out like this?

Cloud didn’t stop moving, instead struggling harder, trying to buck Zack off of him. The action left them tangling up in the sheets, which wrapped around Cloud like a cocoon before he struggled hard enough to fall out of the bed. Zack, barely able to disentangle himself from the sheets, fell on top of Cloud, hitting his head against the nightstand hard on his way down.

"Knock it off!" Zack ordered again, getting his hands across Cloud's shoulders and pinning the SOLDIER to the ground. Cloud went instantly still, sensing the dominant presence over him. "Good, now if you could have just done that when I asked we wouldn't have fallen off the bed." He reached up to feel his forehead. There was a lump and a cut that bled onto his hand when he pulled it away. Zack grimaced, "And I wouldn't have hurt myself.

Zack disentangled the two from the sheets before escorting Cloud over to his cell and pushing the SOLDIER inside. He swiftly undid the cuffs and left Cloud to make himself comfortable, heading to the kitchen to clean up the blood. This was going to be difficult to explain. He bandaged his forehead by light of the bathroom mirror, noting the pale bruise that ran from hairline down to the top of his ear. It would darken by morning, but not last much longer than a few days.

Still annoyed, Zack went back to bed.

 

The next morning he woke up late and barely had enough time to get ready for his briefing. He blamed the late start on a late night but knew it was his own stupid forgetfulness that had put him in this situation. Like it usually did.

He gave Cloud his shots but didn’t have time for breakfast for himself, let alone Cloud. Cloud was awake but groggy and merely rolled over when Zack left, locking the cage behind him. Then he got ready for work. It was while he was brushing his teeth that Zack noticed the bruise. A giant chocobo egg of a bump on his forehead, and bruising all the way up into his hairline. It ached mildly, but looked worse than it actually was. The cut had scabbed over and would heal quickly, but just in case he put some antibiotic ointment on it. Zack sighed, just another reminder of the profession he’d chosen. At least this time Cloud didn’t do it on purpose.

Zack ended up making double time to Director Lazard’s office, arriving only five minutes late.

“HANDLER Fair,” Lazard greeted mildly. “I was beginning to think you weren’t going to make it.”

“Sorry sir,” Zack grinned, showing off his usual charming humor. “I overslept.”

“I see. I hope this will not become a routine with you.” Lazard asked, ice in his tone. Zack gulped.

“No sir. I’ll be more prompt in the future. I had a problem with my SOLDIER last night that delayed me.”

“Cloud? He wouldn’t happen to be the reason for the bruising on your forehead, would he?”

“It was an accident.” Zack protested. He had a feeling he knew where the director was going with this.

“Regardless it appears Cloud is still not safe to be around. I’m afraid I’m revoking his feeding privileges. Perhaps it was too soon. We’ll give him another few months to adjust to you as a HANDLER. You are making good progress, at least.”

“But sir!” Zack protested again. “Cloud’s really not a danger. He just has some problems but we’re working on it.” He didn’t want to go back to Cloud on the feeding schedule. The fatigue Cloud suffered from as a result was horrifying to Zack.

“I won’t hear any protests. A few more months, Zack, and then we’ll revaluate.”

Zack sighed. “Yes sir.”

“Now, review the mission for me.”

 

After the briefing, Zack went straight to Angeal’s apartment. He hadn’t seen his mentor for a few days and found himself needing his advice. What was Zack to do about Cloud, especially now that his extremely brief feeding privileges were gone? He was prepared to go behind Lazard’s back, damn the consequences, just to give Cloud a little more autonomy and normalcy.

Except, the consequences could be losing Cloud. If Cloud was seen as out of control and Zack as not taking responsibility for reigning him in, then it was entirely possible for them to give up on Cloud completely. Zack’s HANDLER career would be over, and so would Cloud’s life. But damn it all, he did like his SOLDIER. The feral nature would probably never go away, but Cloud was proving he could be socialized. He could be part of a team and he could obey orders. He could be trusted to remove the muzzle.

Thoughts plaguing him still, Zack knocked on Angeal’s door. The older HANDLER opened it just a few moments later. With a warm smile, Angeal invited him in. “Zack, how did your mission go yesterday?”

“Well.” Zack replied automatically. He glanced around the apartment. It was in disarray. Sephiroth was nowhere to be seen and clothes and bags were flung across the couch. “Is something happening?”

“We’re preparing to go to Wutai.” Angeal explained. “Just a month or so but Sephiroth’s needed to push back against the Wutaian insurgents. It seems they have new anti-SOLDIER monsters that have the troops currently stalled in their march towards the capital. They’re decimating our SOLDIERs faster than we can train and replace them.”

“Sounds serious.” Zack said, but inwardly he was pouting. He didn’t want Angeal to leave. He relied on his mentor too much still when it came to the SOLDIERs and the HANDLERs. It was unfair, he knew. Angeal was the best HANDLER in the program and he was needed for more important work than training a green HANDLER here in Midgar.

“Very. Though it is good to see you before we ship out in the morning. Was there something you needed from me?”

“Uh yeah.” Remembering what he came here for, Zack explained the situation. About the mission, about the feeding privileges and how Cloud had struggled and fallen out of bed the night before. He explained about how Lazard had seen his bruise and took away Cloud’s very brief feeding priveleges, ending with, “I don’t know what to do. Cloud hasn’t done anything wrong. In fact, on the mission he saved my life.”

That seemed to surprise Angeal, who asked Zack to explain further, and Zack told him how he’d been cut on the side by one of the RAVENs and how Cloud had grabbed his heal and fixed the damage caused by the wound, even though Zack was weakened and in a position to be easily killed by his volatile SOLDIER. At the end of it all, Angeal merely nodded thoughtfully.

“I think Cloud startles.” He explained simply. “I’ve thought so for a long time but last night’s episode seems to confirm it. He’s far past intentionally trying to kill you, which is good, but I believe when he first wakes up he has trouble distinguishing where he is and what’s happening around him. Last night, all he knew was that he was chained in a bed and he panicked. I would figure out which situations cause him to startle and avoid them. I don’t recommend ever letting Cloud sleep in your bed again.”

Zack replied. “That makes sense, and I didn’t think he’d done anything to me intentionally. Still, I don’t know what to do about him losing his feeding privileges. I don’t want him to think he’s being punished for something that was not his fault.”

Angeal nodded in understanding. “I will speak to Lazard and see what I can do. You should go about your day as normal. I’m sure Cloud is wondering where you are.”

With a laugh and a cheerful goodbye, a relieved Zack left Angeal’s apartment.

 

Angeal didn’t waste much time. Sephiroth was in the bedroom folding clothes and after informing his SOLDIER where he was going he left the man to pack and made his way down to the director’s office. Lazard glanced up from his computer screen when Angeal knocked and stepped inside.

“What a surprise. You almost never visit without warning.” Lazard greeted, suspicion coloring his words. Still, he was cordial enough as he invited Angeal to take a seat. “I don’t suppose this has anything to do with that excitable puppy that follows you around.”

“Zack told me what happened.” Angeal said, setting aside pleasantries to get straight to the point.

“And you want me to reverse my decision?” Lazard guessed.

Angeal replied, “I know better than that. No. I want Zack and Cloud put on the Wutai mission. I think Zack is ready to take his SOLDIER into the real battlefield, and Cloud would be a huge asset against these anti-SOLDIER monsters.”

“So you say, but it is still too soon to put faith in SOLDIER Cloud. HANDLER Fair simply doesn’t have as much control as he seems to believe he does.”

“I will vouch for HANDLER Fair.” Angeal said. “I have seen him and Cloud interact. They are not perfect, no, but I believe Zack has enough control that, under my supervision, he will prove an asset in Wutai.”

Lazard nodded. For a moment there was silence before he said slowly, “Then you must be sure to keep him safe. With the recent string of disappearances it would be a shame to lose such a promising young HANDLER and his SOLDIER.”

Yes, Angeal had been informed of the disappearances in Wutai. They did not know who was behind them, but it was an organized effort. SOLDIERs were going missing and their HANDLERs turning up dead. Angeal did not want Zack and Cloud to be among those numbers.

“I will keep them safe.” He promised easily. He would do all in his power.

“Then I will allow it.” Lazard answered, and pulled up the proper forms on his computer. “However there is one detail that has been overlooked. There are no SOLDIER handling facilities in Wutai. Cloud will not be able to be fed by the nasogastric tube.”

“Yes. I realized that.” Angeal replied, not the least bit concerned that his real reason for being here had been revealed. Cloud would need to be fed manually during the Wutai mission. At least for a little while, Zack would have his wish.

Lazard shook his head. “Get out of here, you conniving sneak. I am setting all responsibility for Cloud squarely on your shoulders.”

“I accept the responsibility.” Angeal grinned at him, a sort of almost smug expression from the normally honorable man. He turned and left to tell Zack the good news.


End file.
